email and reply from Joanne 1999

From Joanne by email

.....

thought you might have gone mod, and got an e.mail

address.

Figured it may be easier for us to get back in

contact?

As you know we're moving house in the new year, but

nothing is fixed. The current plan is to move further

south.

I hear along the grape vine that things didn't go to

well with your girlfriend. Sorry to hear that.

It's hard to believe me and magnus are married 3 years

now. Mum says you posted a reply via doehouse after I

sent you the card, but it never actually arrived here.

Every now and agin our post goes missing, the last

time it was photos, so it's not just your letters!

Shirley wasn't tpp impressed we never invited her, but

that's life unfortunately. We couldn't invite

everyone, so we thought we'd make it simple and keep

things on an even keel for the day.

I am upset at the way things worked out. Do you

remember the time I came downstairs to tell you I

loved you?

Well I still mean that despite all we've been through.

I know it's not going to be easy getting back in

touch, we all have old wounds. I even got in touch

with Shirley last year. Not an easy thing to do

either, but we met up in Rye in the summer for an

hour, just to meet face to face.

You'll have heard chris has a sprog. She looks big in

the photo we've got.

Anyway, I'll leave the next letter to you.

Happy christmas

Joanne and Magnus

__________________________________________________

Reply

Joanne,

Thank you for the E-Mail.

I feel a bit like Sam when his father visited Doehouse. Primed by Pauline, that if his father loved him he would do this or that, bring presents etc. consequently Sam watched for his father to jump through the hoops to prove affection. Unfortunately Tony did not know the rules and performed none of the essential tasks. no relationship was formed between them, ( the real intention?)

So here I am looking for the signs reading into your note, not reading it.

I was surprised you mentioned your wedding and your explanation. From my end it was different.

First I had notification from Orkney that Pauline had told a friend you were going to get married and the plan was not to invite me. I would be devastated not to be at my favourite daughters wedding, it would really hit home and show I no longer had a family. Pauline and Neil will go so they will be on the wedding photographs, and when received I would be utterly distressed.

That one action drove the nail in the coffin at the Baptist Church where the knowledge of her and your intention was considered to be abominable, not in keeping with Christian love.

When I was told I wrote to Shirley and told her the intention, date, location and who was expected to go. I hoped she would have been spared the hurt and malice, and would have had an invitation, but alas you wanted to punish us both. I was not surprised or angry when I received the photograph of the wedding party, All the Martell’s, and Neil.

I sent it back with a terse note expressing my feelings about the lot of you.

It came as no shock to find this letter never arrived at Aberdeen as it was sent to Doehouse, the Bermudan triangle for sensitive mail. My reaction and disgust was also shared by Pamela, my Mother and Shirley.

If we are to start again please cut the crap - the truth will suffice if you can not manage sorry.

I thought you may have heard about the end of my relationship with Sue (the girl friend), you did know her name! That one sentence does not do credit, to the ending of a period of my life which was truly memorable. I always loved her, more than she loved me, but the pain of parting was awful, heartbreaking. I still love her but we are just friends, She was not happy, and her happiness was always more important than mine, the ultimate sacrifice!

Many reasons were given for the eventual end, one was my family, especially Hilary who was most vile two years ago. We suffered badly from Pauline, her family, the Church, not to mention Hilary and You. In the end it was all too much for her to stand.

I do not think a move to Manchester is a good idea and would council against moving to that area. A stress councillor who works exclusively with trauma, caused by gun shot wounds, went to Manchester over twenty years ago, when the work load was 2 per year on average. She is looking forward to retirement because the rate is now 2 per week.

The place is rough, red in tooth and claw, and the children are old and street wise in nappies.

From what I have heard of Magnus’s character, the school children will make his life hell.

To be really happy with a move, both parts of a relationship need to be at ease, and equally fulfilled.

I know little of your husband only that Alan said his father was a wonderful man and if he is half the man of his father,  Joanne should be all right. Which is not quite the same as you will both be all right. It takes two to tango, I know because I am terrible at relationships.

Talking of relationships, the last time I saw you, was in court, which I will explain what happened from my side.

First the facts - Pauline had legal aid I did not.

My solicitor advised me I could not afford to fight all Pauline’s accusations in court and would have to leave some things unchallenged.

I had a driving desire to have a meaningful relation with my children eventually, and did not believe that dragging you through the court would endear me to you. What I wanted to do was

1 clear my name from the false accusations of Pauline

2 Maintain a good relationship with my children

3 Not to distress or harm my children

My solicitor said it would not be possible as Pauline will use you both mercilessly to drive a wedge between us, and make her self look good in court.

I collected my witnesses of Pauline’s violence. The couple who lived at Bon Accord (Sabistons) who saw Pauline swinging me round by the hair, kicking and scratching, on the day you left home.

Luke Kendall and Jenny Ellis, who were threatened and suffered under the hand of Pauline.

Peter and Jane, who saw far too much.

Fran, my mother, the crowd at work etc. including the accountant to prove the Farm was not viable.

To avoid putting you in the dock for cross examination both solicitors agreed to drop the bad behaviour bit. The court case was to decide if the farm was viable, and whether Pauline should stay or sell up, nothing more.

We did not call our witnesses because they were not required, and the accountant sent copies of the accounts to Pauline’s brief and the Sheriff so he would not need to attend.

No. 1 Mistake

We were ambushed, no witnesses on my side and you against me.

I had informed Ali Bruce that I would not listen to any lies my Daughters made, as I may never forgive them. When you started speaking I Hastily left the court.

I was supposed to ask the Sheriff for permission first. No. 2 Mistake

When I came to give evidence I was handed a book and told to read the card, which I did. Pauline brief said I was not a Christian, and should of affirmed not taken an oath I did not believe in. No. 3 mistake.

After which it was all down hill, and I lost the case. The Sheriff was reminded of the case every time my cases entered court, and I always came off badly under him. Luckily the Scottish Law tries to be just and it is now over.

The one remaining memory was the amount of crosses, fish signs, and Christian trappings worn in court. More like the inquisition than a court of law. I did not play the religious card and suffered badly from it.

I can remember little else of the day, especially what you looked like. All my memories of you finished conveniently at 1991 at Christopher’s wedding. The rest is not worth remembering.

I was disturbed that you call the heartless demon in Orkney, Mum. That one phrase puts me on edge. I have spies out to try to find out what you are up to with your Northern puppet master. All I have heard so far is she still talks about her two daughters.

I have a few questions I would like an answer to:-

1 Why do you want to get in contact after 5 years ( Pauline’s Children were in touch with their father, who admitted violent acts against her, after only 18 months)

I still protest my innocence. Yes I struck John, in self defence, not when he was small, but when he was bigger than me. (not the action of a bully) I have never hit Pauline, Patrick, Daniel, Guy, Thomas, Sam, or Hilary.

2 What do you want ?

3 Where do you want to go, as You attacked me, testified against me, and told others a sordid tale which caused me grief, and failed to keep in touch. Sorry would be ideal but the world is not like that. I have never stopped loving both you and Hilary! There has not a day gone past in the last 5 years that I have not thought of you. I live in hope that the nightmare will be over.

However behind the scenes is a vicious woman, which you seem to need.

I will not be hurt again by her or her storm troopers. That is the bottom line.

Christmas will be spent in the company of a girlfriend so I will not be at the screen until next Thursday.

I will say good bye for now, I love you but do not want to be hurt, it is and has always been in your court.

pax vobiscum