Jo
Please thank the children for their thank you notes. It has been some considerable time since I received them from your family.
I have told you about the round robins before. They are written on a computer and it is not difficult to remove offending passages. There is no excuse for your actions, thoughtlessness does not apply.
Your Grandmother asked me to read hers as she said she could not read it, as she was having difficulty with her eyes. She lied and just wanted to punish me by reading it aloud, and asking the obvious questions.
You had said when criticised over previous round Robin's that you wondered why you bothered, and considered not sending her one. It is a pity you did not sick to that idea. I too would like to be added to your, not to send round robin's to, address list.
2014 so soon, it is twenty years since you deliberately destroyed the family. I have not lived one day of that long time when I haven't thought of you, such a pity.
I wish you better than you deserve, for we live in interesting times.
dad
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1/18/14
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I’ll pass on your thanks and add you to the “not to be round robined” list.
You are missing out on so much as a grandfather it saddens me every year, but the decision NOT to remain in reasonable contact was yours decision not mine if you recall. I’ve offered many times to travel up with the kids to visit and been rejected.
When you decide to take an active part in your own family just let me know and I’ll be only too glad to pop up to see you.
Jo x
From: Derek Goggin [mailto:derekgoggin@gmail.com]
Sent: 17 January 2014 15:41
To: Jo Smedley
Subject: round robin
Sent: 17 January 2014 15:41
To: Jo Smedley
Subject: round robin
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1/18/14
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jo
referring to your round robin, YOU WERE IN NORTUMBERLAND on holiday. You passed my door twice going north and again coming south.
Your Grandmother is 88 and failing health. At present she is compos mentis. She will not have the chance to see Hilary again, and although she may be able to see you before she dies it would need to be handled sensitively for you and your family, as well as her.
You have not offered to come to Northumberland and say at a holiday accommodation where we can meet. What is not negotiable is knowing where I live or visiting me at home.
In the last twenty years I have not stalked you, ruined your career harassed or intimidated you in any way.
You chose to be a Martell, instead of a Goggin, you have no memory of life before Pauline, I have too many painful memories of life since.
dad
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1/18/14
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I know I was in Northumberland. I visited Hadrian’s wall and travel past Newcastle on a semi-regular basis throughout the year.
I have not “stalked” you and therefore have no idea where you live.
And as you won’t tell me where you live, and haven’t suggested a “meet up” and in fact told me to “leave well alone” the last time I offered to come up to visit you and Granny, rather than suggesting an anonymous location, I assumed from that that you had no wish for me to attempt to visit you at all.
Suggest a good location and I’m happy to pop up for either a day visit, a weekend or stop in Northumberland in a holiday rental so we can meet up at some point.
You know where I live and have visited the house, AND have the phone number. I’ve not moved.
Jo x
From: Derek Goggin [mailto:derekgoggin@gmail.com]
Sent: 18 January 2014 11:33
To: Jo Smedley
Subject: Re: round robin
Sent: 18 January 2014 11:33
To: Jo Smedley
Subject: Re: round robin
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1/19/14
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Jo
To clear things up about stalking. I have not accused you of stalking me. The people you call family have been responsible for supplying my address. obviously any hint of my address or contact telephones, inadvertently passed on could cause a recurrence of a difficult period in my life that I have no intention of repeating. This inadvertently means restricting any normal flow of communications with you or your sister. I hope you can understand that. You may find it difficult to comprehend that when a minnow sees a trout swimming with sharks they can be reluctant to accept an invitation to dinner.
As for the meeting with grandmother last year. I was disappointed as you were that granny called off the meeting at the last moment. As I have tried to explain she is reclusive, has not had any contact with children for many years. You may remember she was not the most children friendly when she had to be. She wanted to see you first, she has questions, and wanted to clear the air. A meeting with the children, tired after a long journey and bored may not go well.
When Connie visited for just an hour on her way back to Germany with her two friends, it caused anxiety and many sleepless nights. Since then her health has deteriorate more, she has profound hearing loss and periods of confusion. Any meeting may need a degree of military planning and precision even then a successful meeting could still be in doubt. The opportunity may no longer exist.
I was not aware that that you passed through Northumberland on a regular basis and there may be opportunities to meet up when you are passing through. it would be beneficial to clear the air before seeing the grandchildren. If you were on holiday in Northumberland I am sure we could arrange a meeting and spend time with the children in one many tourist attractions.
I do have a mobile phone, but seldom use it as I am becoming a belligerent technophobia. Being in a rural area away from super broadband and G1 mobile phone reception. We are patient awaiting the arrival of Virgin goat muck technology to power the house and receive a TV programmes. Nearer a meeting date I will give you my mobile number when I find out what it is.
Congratulations on your business success, it must be more difficult to juggle the work life balance now you are not operating from home. As it is your business I suppose you can set aside an area for child care if you wish. Do you find it easier with less distractions working away from the house with set work times?
I still prefer any communication via internet, and still weary of phone calls especially at odd times of the day. Working outside with the animals we miss many calls and I have not developed the habit of checking the phone to see if any one has called.
Love
dad
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1/20/14
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We’ve been talking about a trip up to the farne islands and a holiday cottage stay in Northumberland for the last 3 years. I’ve been putting it off until you were happy to meet up as a) I didn’t want to accidentally bump into you as I thought you’d take it badly, and as I have no idea where in Northumberland you are, or would be at any given point, I didn’t want to cause any unnecessary upset. And b) I didn’t want to be in Northumberland and not visit as that just seemed silly.
It’ll be in the summer probably if we do a holiday rental as the business is quieter and it’s easier to have trips away, but sometimes we try to get away in Easter. So either April or possibly August if you’re willing.
Just let me know
Much love
jo
From: Derek Goggin [mailto:derekgoggin@gmail.com]
Sent: 19 January 2014 12:19
Sent: 19 January 2014 12:19
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1/21/14
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Jo
if you knew me you you wouldn't be concerned about bumping into me at Seahouses or Beadnell, any other coastal town you might well have bumped into me.
the choice is yours for the visit. if you want to visit the Farnes, the trip takes two hours. none of the the boats have toilets. I am not sure if you are still allowed to land on the islands, there was talk of stopping it during breeding season.
April, historically has a greater chance of gales than August and is colder. There is also a greater chance of heavy swells which may make the crossing uncomfortable, but the Puffins are breading. August is popular with the divers and most birds have fledged but the dolphins are more likely.
It is normally warmer in August except for the Powburn show.
Either month is a busy time for me, and unfortunately I will not be travelling with you on a boat trip. I can not manage two hours of constant movement on a boat, it would totally wipe me out. So the ambition of travelling to new Zealand in a 9 metre Catalac is a thing of the past.
April we will be kidding and still bottle feeding every 4 hours. August is the time of the agricultural shows, we will be attending one every Saturday.
Neither is a problem as I am sure we could work around it, and you may even enjoy the shows.
as for accommodation I can reach most holiday sites in an hour. The caravan parks can be variable in comfort and clientèle some are notoriously better than others. For example I would never recommend Sandy Bay caravan park at Newbiggin to any one, I have had too many casualties there.
Haggerston is popular with the Scots, Berwick popular with the drunken Scots. Seahouses has many static caravans owned by Northumbrians and is busy with local holiday makers. Wooler use to be a Haven holiday park but sold off as not profitable, Proctor steads, and Dunstanburgh at Embleton are quiet and popular with elderly tourist. Amble has two sites one for families the other very secluded.
There are many holiday cottages that can be found on line. Popular holiday cottages are at Glanton and Waren mill. Budle Bay is very popular but lacks amenities. Galorum and Bamburgh use to be highly recommended. As Northumberland is known as the secret kingdom there is normally more accommodation than tourist needing it.
I think the first meeting should be between the two of us to clear the air.
Any meeting with granny will need to be at her house as she does not go out except for shopping, and will be difficult. She is adamant that she does not want to meet you, until our differences are resolved. You didn't address this in your last e-mail, had you considered it?
love
dad
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