Dear Jo and Magnus
I managed to move, not without incident, after nearly 9 months of protracted delay and stress. I managed to do what I intended, to sell the bungalow at the full price and down size to a hovel with land. I will not have the money to do exactly what I want to do, but push comes to shove it should be habitable by summer. The cottage is quite old but knocked about a bit. Originally 3 single room bothies for itinerant workers, it has been a shop, smallholding, and squat in the past. Holes and botched work evident everywhere. The front rooms that have the pitched roof are in greatest need of repair. So far the damp course has been completed. Everything up to a metre on the walls had to come off, most lathes and plaster, but some bits of concrete brick and rubble came down. I now know what it was like to mine coal, and how welcome clean water is. Two wood burning stoves fitted and ceilings have been done, just partial rewiring this week, plumbing and two floors to rip up and lay with concrete.
Outside the acre wood is now stock proof. The Poultry are still in the Goat house until the new housing and fencing is completed. I hope to get the goats by April. On the downside dear old Cindy died aged 16. She managed to live long enough to see her last resting-place and is buried under the lawn. The last three days while she struggled with life was depressing. Tending my good companion while she died very emotional. One minute a sentient being next a piece of cold meat! I can see the attraction of the 21gramms, even though I have no belief in such groundless ideology.
I have a new dog, Zak, a bearded collie. Never have I spent £75 so well. He is a poppet, friendly, well behaved and quick to learn. He does not seem to mind the squalor I am living in at the moment.
The bees did not make it through the move. The hive was dropped during the two-day move and well shook up. On the good side I saw some robber bees enter the hive, so there must be a wild colony some where, and the hope of a swarm this summer.
I think you and Hilary are still blocked on the Hotmail account, I do not seem to be able to do much with it. I am not expecting any contact from Hilary so it is of little concern.
I saw you both joined Facebook, so had to do some rapid blocking and editing there. It was not my favourite site I seldom used it. I find it difficult to keep up with friends on the web and can not concentrate very long.
Health wise I have seen an improvement since Christmas, probably due to taking NADH, (any port in a storm). The immunologist still thinks most of the problems are due to blood loss, where my serum iron levels are causing concern. I will have to visit the Bumologist for another look shortly.
Pax tecum
Dad
I managed to move, not without incident, after nearly 9 months of protracted delay and stress. I managed to do what I intended, to sell the bungalow at the full price and down size to a hovel with land. I will not have the money to do exactly what I want to do, but push comes to shove it should be habitable by summer. The cottage is quite old but knocked about a bit. Originally 3 single room bothies for itinerant workers, it has been a shop, smallholding, and squat in the past. Holes and botched work evident everywhere. The front rooms that have the pitched roof are in greatest need of repair. So far the damp course has been completed. Everything up to a metre on the walls had to come off, most lathes and plaster, but some bits of concrete brick and rubble came down. I now know what it was like to mine coal, and how welcome clean water is. Two wood burning stoves fitted and ceilings have been done, just partial rewiring this week, plumbing and two floors to rip up and lay with concrete.
Outside the acre wood is now stock proof. The Poultry are still in the Goat house until the new housing and fencing is completed. I hope to get the goats by April. On the downside dear old Cindy died aged 16. She managed to live long enough to see her last resting-place and is buried under the lawn. The last three days while she struggled with life was depressing. Tending my good companion while she died very emotional. One minute a sentient being next a piece of cold meat! I can see the attraction of the 21gramms, even though I have no belief in such groundless ideology.
I have a new dog, Zak, a bearded collie. Never have I spent £75 so well. He is a poppet, friendly, well behaved and quick to learn. He does not seem to mind the squalor I am living in at the moment.
The bees did not make it through the move. The hive was dropped during the two-day move and well shook up. On the good side I saw some robber bees enter the hive, so there must be a wild colony some where, and the hope of a swarm this summer.
I think you and Hilary are still blocked on the Hotmail account, I do not seem to be able to do much with it. I am not expecting any contact from Hilary so it is of little concern.
I saw you both joined Facebook, so had to do some rapid blocking and editing there. It was not my favourite site I seldom used it. I find it difficult to keep up with friends on the web and can not concentrate very long.
Health wise I have seen an improvement since Christmas, probably due to taking NADH, (any port in a storm). The immunologist still thinks most of the problems are due to blood loss, where my serum iron levels are causing concern. I will have to visit the Bumologist for another look shortly.
Pax tecum
Dad
Hi Dad,
Thanks for getting in touch. Not sure if you got either of my last two emails, as I see this is a totally different email again!
Glad to hear you have got a new dog. I can’t imagine life without one. Bearded collies are lovely – If a bit on the dirty side when it comes to cleaning up after them – but then our Moss isn’t exactly a dream!
Not sure how you are managing the new house and all the work it entails with your CFS, but whatever drug they’ve been giving you seems to be working! Endoscopies are nasty uncomfortable things. You have my sympathies. I saw plenty of patients in hospital with one to know they are best avoided – but doctors don’t recommend them lightly so if you need one you have very little choice it the matter!
Facebook – what is that? I keep getting emails saying someone has added my name to their list but I have never joined up! Can’t see the attraction personally and I don’t even have a log in code or anything so have never been on. One of these days, who knows. Perhaps when I’m rich and famous….
I was in the paper just the other week. A big spread to promote a local hotel who are running a game of mine at the end of the month. They journalist is coming back again to do another piece which is great as it means free advertising and I’m all for that! They had the article already penned before they even spoke to me, but I know how these things work these days and given what they wrote I don’t feel I came off too badly! They managed to get a nice photo of me anyway, which I’ve now included on my website as it looks better for me as an author trying to attract an agent. Still no luck on the agency front so far and we are considering self publishing now that the murder mystery games are beginning to bring in an income. We’ll see… it’s very expensive.
Otherwise there is not much news at my end. The kids continue to get older and wiser (in their eyes anyway) and we just continue to get older!
Now I have your new email address I’ll send you the updated shots.
Much love
jo
Jo
read the message
too ill to reply just now
pax
dad
read the message
too ill to reply just now
pax
dad
----- Original Message ----
From: jo and magnus <jo@cplinternet.net>
To: derek goggin <derekgoggin@yahoo.co.uk>
Sent: Monday, 3 March, 2008 1:01:07 PM
Subject: RE: 3 March 08
From: jo and magnus <jo@cplinternet.net>
To: derek goggin <derekgoggin@yahoo.co.uk>
Sent: Monday, 3 March, 2008 1:01:07 PM
Subject: RE: 3 March 08
Hi Dad,
Zak is beautiful! What a stunner! No wonder you are so pleased with him. I think I would be.
As an OT I know all about grading work – but as your daughter I am afraid I fall into the same work-a-holic trap! Try just varying your work. Do some sitting stuff, then moving about stuff, then other stuff so that you aren’t digging all day etc. As the saying goes, a change is as good as a rest. As for the hospitals, CFS will only ever be diagnosed as a last resort as when you have that diagnosis it carries a stigma with it and implications for insurance etc, so they are always very reluctant to label anyone with it unless they are forced. Diagnosis or none, you are still left fighting the symptoms – and that is by far the worst.
Blue was by far my favourite dog, only probably because I can’t remember Tammie very well and she was my favourite until blue. Moss is a good replacement however, though, like blue and Candy he does have a tendency to fill the house with dirt.
Nothing much has changed with me in the last few weeks, though the murder mystery at the local hotel has now been and gone and was a roaring success – which will hopefully lead to more commissions and more publicity. (it was the murder mystery for the hotel that got me in the papers in the first place “A not so serious serial killer” and “A hit woman” – interesting descriptions for a stay at home mum!
A picture on Face Book eh? Must have been something I did when semi comatose when Tristan was very very young. I have no idea where it is or how to get back into it! So it can sit and rot for now as a loose end. Christopher has a face book profile, or so Hilary says, it is the only reason she joined up as she speaks to him quite a bit. I speak to him much less frequently – it is hard speaking to people when you don’t have regular contact as you have nothing on which to base a conversation.
Granny will have difficulty contacting Hilary at the moment as she is in Australia and it looks like she’ll settle there for now at least. She is popping back for a brief stay with her favourite niece and nephew in June so it will be good to catch up. Iona misses her a lot after she stayed with us for two weeks in August last year. She’s working hard in an outward bound centre in the outback somewhere in Victoria . Having a great time by all accounts and getting rapid promotion. She is most like you in personality of the two of us – but neither of you would ever agree on that - I am sure!
I am about to start blasting the agents with a new novel – this time I haven’t bothered finishing it – I’ll see where the preliminary work gets me first as I am not wasting my time on another no-hoper. And other than that it is game writing, game writing, game writing. This time next year I should be earning the equivalent of a salary on the mystery writing front which will be brilliant.
Anyway – I am supposed to be looking after the kids, cleaning the house and working on two new games, a book and sorting out the on-line shop – so I suppose I had better get on with it!
Much love
jo
Dear Jo and Magnus
Sorry for the delay in replying, I am relapsing, obviously doing too much!! I do not seem to have found the stop button yet and use all available energy without putting any in store for later. Protestant work ethic has a lot to answer for even if I managed to drop the religion I am still lumbered with the work ethic and feel guilty inactive. I am suppose to take graded activities so am hoping that Zak will regulate my life better.
I seem to have a few email addresses. The Hotmail address and Yahoo are for friends, others are for writing on poetry groups, something I have not done much of recently.
As for the beardies being dirty this one seems to be different, it has a character cross between Candy and Blue. Cindy was the dirtiest dog I have known. She always collected a coat of mud to bring home. Would wait until it dried then shook it over the house. Left to her own devices she would lay down a compacted layer greater than the Jurassic period.
The house is progressing slowly, it is not the first building site I have lived in. When money is scarce you can only buy what you can afford hence the last four houses have needed masses of sweat and energy to bring back to life. I tried to bring them all back to the period they were built. Kinaldy farm cottage was early Victorian, Elder Cottage 1790, and White Wings 1920. Of all I found White Wings the most difficult, expensive, and least satisfying, However it did reach a good price and sold, albeit slowly. To give the house its due, the people that bought it stuck with it from May, all the delays were at their end.
I have had the endoscopy and the colonoscopy before but they did not result in anything except a dislike for the intestinal cleansing fluid. I do not notice any blood escaping, but there are traces in the stool samples, allegedly. To my humble medical knowledge it seems the medical profession is trying to find a department to be responsible for treating my ill health, preferably not their own. Immunology is the home of last resort, but they do not want to diagnose CFS yet. They must have run out of targets for this year. I hope to get a true diagnosis in the next financial year.
You do have a profile on Face book with a photograph and when I last looked have Sam as a contact. Hilary has a profile as Hilary Goggin, I had hoped she would have used some other name! She has the whole Martell fraternity. Even the Lawrence woman has a profile. It is a good job Facebook is not that good.
When getting into the local press you must be part of an event. A school visit is by far the best method.. Local papers like photographs of children in the papers, the parents buy the paper. Some even buy copies of the photograph. To get famous as a budding writer, do a visit to the local school, even if Iona is in the class.
Writing this end has slowed to a stop. I did a reading at Northern lines again. The organiser accepted me as the house humorous writer and is banking on a few of my contributions to add light relief to the evenings, (no pressure there).
The more thoughtful poems are published in the North East Poetry Journal.
Other work is on hold as the mind is very foggy at present.
My mother is in the rudest of health, still bitter and upset about being rejected by her grandchildren. She read your round robin at Christmas. As a rule when writing you should know your audience. Eighty year olds where brought up in a different age, they still do not mention body functions, still find euphoniums for going to the toilet, and not use to toilet humour. The mere mention of passing wind is considered as common and disgusting.
I did point out that you have apologised for not keeping in touch and the way you treated her, but she says it is not enough, she still wants to know why!
She is not inclined to communicate with just one grandchild, she wants Hilary to get in contact before she communicates with both. I think it is something to do with large families where divide and conquer causes resentment and feelings of isolation. She has managed to write to her sister Rika after a period of hostility. Out of twelve children in the family (not counting the twins that died within 18 months) few are left. The eldest Greta (87) is blind and diabetic, Nellie (83) has dementia, Rika (78) Has Parkinson’s, Honey (76) needs a new knee, Philip (84) is fit and healthy still digging neighbours gardens, Gery (74) is unwell but no one knows what is wrong with him. All the other brothers and sisters have died.
Rika has been exploring her family tree and completed a large book on the Van Dijk side of the family. The Klapwijk side has a web site, My mother was told to access the site where she could keep in touch with other relatives. My grandfather was one of 12 as was my grand mother, so there must he hundreds of them, and she says she has not the time, too busy doing her work (stocks and shares).
That’s it for now, I have over stretched myself, and now going back to bed.
Pax tecum
Dad
ps Zak photo attached
Sorry for the delay in replying, I am relapsing, obviously doing too much!! I do not seem to have found the stop button yet and use all available energy without putting any in store for later. Protestant work ethic has a lot to answer for even if I managed to drop the religion I am still lumbered with the work ethic and feel guilty inactive. I am suppose to take graded activities so am hoping that Zak will regulate my life better.
I seem to have a few email addresses. The Hotmail address and Yahoo are for friends, others are for writing on poetry groups, something I have not done much of recently.
As for the beardies being dirty this one seems to be different, it has a character cross between Candy and Blue. Cindy was the dirtiest dog I have known. She always collected a coat of mud to bring home. Would wait until it dried then shook it over the house. Left to her own devices she would lay down a compacted layer greater than the Jurassic period.
The house is progressing slowly, it is not the first building site I have lived in. When money is scarce you can only buy what you can afford hence the last four houses have needed masses of sweat and energy to bring back to life. I tried to bring them all back to the period they were built. Kinaldy farm cottage was early Victorian, Elder Cottage 1790, and White Wings 1920. Of all I found White Wings the most difficult, expensive, and least satisfying, However it did reach a good price and sold, albeit slowly. To give the house its due, the people that bought it stuck with it from May, all the delays were at their end.
I have had the endoscopy and the colonoscopy before but they did not result in anything except a dislike for the intestinal cleansing fluid. I do not notice any blood escaping, but there are traces in the stool samples, allegedly. To my humble medical knowledge it seems the medical profession is trying to find a department to be responsible for treating my ill health, preferably not their own. Immunology is the home of last resort, but they do not want to diagnose CFS yet. They must have run out of targets for this year. I hope to get a true diagnosis in the next financial year.
You do have a profile on Face book with a photograph and when I last looked have Sam as a contact. Hilary has a profile as Hilary Goggin, I had hoped she would have used some other name! She has the whole Martell fraternity. Even the Lawrence woman has a profile. It is a good job Facebook is not that good.
When getting into the local press you must be part of an event. A school visit is by far the best method.. Local papers like photographs of children in the papers, the parents buy the paper. Some even buy copies of the photograph. To get famous as a budding writer, do a visit to the local school, even if Iona is in the class.
Writing this end has slowed to a stop. I did a reading at Northern lines again. The organiser accepted me as the house humorous writer and is banking on a few of my contributions to add light relief to the evenings, (no pressure there).
The more thoughtful poems are published in the North East Poetry Journal.
Other work is on hold as the mind is very foggy at present.
My mother is in the rudest of health, still bitter and upset about being rejected by her grandchildren. She read your round robin at Christmas. As a rule when writing you should know your audience. Eighty year olds where brought up in a different age, they still do not mention body functions, still find euphoniums for going to the toilet, and not use to toilet humour. The mere mention of passing wind is considered as common and disgusting.
I did point out that you have apologised for not keeping in touch and the way you treated her, but she says it is not enough, she still wants to know why!
She is not inclined to communicate with just one grandchild, she wants Hilary to get in contact before she communicates with both. I think it is something to do with large families where divide and conquer causes resentment and feelings of isolation. She has managed to write to her sister Rika after a period of hostility. Out of twelve children in the family (not counting the twins that died within 18 months) few are left. The eldest Greta (87) is blind and diabetic, Nellie (83) has dementia, Rika (78) Has Parkinson’s, Honey (76) needs a new knee, Philip (84) is fit and healthy still digging neighbours gardens, Gery (74) is unwell but no one knows what is wrong with him. All the other brothers and sisters have died.
Rika has been exploring her family tree and completed a large book on the Van Dijk side of the family. The Klapwijk side has a web site, My mother was told to access the site where she could keep in touch with other relatives. My grandfather was one of 12 as was my grand mother, so there must he hundreds of them, and she says she has not the time, too busy doing her work (stocks and shares).
That’s it for now, I have over stretched myself, and now going back to bed.
Pax tecum
Dad
ps Zak photo attached
Hi Dad,
Zak is beautiful! What a stunner! No wonder you are so pleased with him. I think I would be.
As an OT I know all about grading work – but as your daughter I am afraid I fall into the same work-a-holic trap! Try just varying your work. Do some sitting stuff, then moving about stuff, then other stuff so that you aren’t digging all day etc. As the saying goes, a change is as good as a rest. As for the hospitals, CFS will only ever be diagnosed as a last resort as when you have that diagnosis it carries a stigma with it and implications for insurance etc, so they are always very reluctant to label anyone with it unless they are forced. Diagnosis or none, you are still left fighting the symptoms – and that is by far the worst.
Blue was by far my favourite dog, only probably because I can’t remember Tammie very well and she was my favourite until blue. Moss is a good replacement however, though, like blue and Candy he does have a tendency to fill the house with dirt.
Nothing much has changed with me in the last few weeks, though the murder mystery at the local hotel has now been and gone and was a roaring success – which will hopefully lead to more commissions and more publicity. (it was the murder mystery for the hotel that got me in the papers in the first place “A not so serious serial killer” and “A hit woman” – interesting descriptions for a stay at home mum!
A picture on Face Book eh? Must have been something I did when semi comatose when Tristan was very very young. I have no idea where it is or how to get back into it! So it can sit and rot for now as a loose end. Christopher has a face book profile, or so Hilary says, it is the only reason she joined up as she speaks to him quite a bit. I speak to him much less frequently – it is hard speaking to people when you don’t have regular contact as you have nothing on which to base a conversation.
Granny will have difficulty contacting Hilary at the moment as she is in Australia and it looks like she’ll settle there for now at least. She is popping back for a brief stay with her favourite niece and nephew in June so it will be good to catch up. Iona misses her a lot after she stayed with us for two weeks in August last year. She’s working hard in an outward bound centre in the outback somewhere in Victoria . Having a great time by all accounts and getting rapid promotion. She is most like you in personality of the two of us – but neither of you would ever agree on that - I am sure!
I am about to start blasting the agents with a new novel – this time I haven’t bothered finishing it – I’ll see where the preliminary work gets me first as I am not wasting my time on another no-hoper. And other than that it is game writing, game writing, game writing. This time next year I should be earning the equivalent of a salary on the mystery writing front which will be brilliant.
Anyway – I am supposed to be looking after the kids, cleaning the house and working on two new games, a book and sorting out the on-line shop – so I suppose I had better get on with it!
Much love
jo
Dear Jo and Magnus
Thanks for the message
Zak is a poppet really, he has taken two weeks to get perfectly comfortable, trying out all the seats and my bed. We are in negotiations about the squatters rights for the bed!!! He encountered his first hare yesterday, so I did not have to walk him much after that. Today he has been chasing stoats, not difficult to see still in winter white, but he lost them! All the woods on the moor rear pheasants mine is the only one with the rookery. The big problem is how to replace the pines with a deciduous coppice without loosing the birds. Hopefully in the next twenty years I would have achieved it. At the present rate of work, the timetable for completion on the house has some slippage, completion is nearing 2083 so a twenty year coppice should be no problem.
I saw a site with your mystery games on it, as it asked for money I veered off and was not sure what it was all about. I had no idea you were into programming, or have I got it wrong?
I have managed to get the new hen house ready, but it means I will not be able to stay over night at Kathy’s so they still reside in the Goatel, which gives them ample room and light yet secure from wondering foxes. I have managed to bring down the top part of the Yew tree. The rest will have to be cleared away before the goats arrive. The body still packs up before the chainsaw.
For light relief I ordered the veg seeds and looking forward to commissioning the greenhouse. I have heard that food is to become more expensive and in short supply. Onions are suppose to be really scares this year, however I seem to have no difficulty in getting sets at a reasonable price, the rate at which they germinate may in the end prove expensive.
With all the birds I am still without a fresh egg. The Peking bantams are believed to be as prolific in egg laying as silkies with the same broody habits. The Buff Orpington is over 6 years old so I am not expecting much from her. It looks like I may have to splash out on some more. Buff Orpingtons are my favourite but Marans seem in plentiful supply locally, both sadly are rare breeds.
I saw Hilary’s profile on Facebook, her friends did not include Christopher, but did include Jonathan Sam and a few female Martells! Ben Farrer is also on facebook. It shows how desirable Facebook membership can be.
Chris spent most of August with me last year. He was in quite a bad state with cocaine addiction. He stayed about 6 weeks before deciding to make a fresh start down south. He assures me that since he met Andrea he has been clear. The last I heard he was setting up house with Andrea in Maidstone. As Chris only contacts me when desperate or wants something, absence of communications means all is OK. I will let him know when I have a room ready for his holidays. Although I have known him all his life, I still feel I do not know him or what makes him tick. He is very much like Brian, but I see lots of Shirley in him. The addictive gene runs through the Gaved line. Arthritis gene is prevalent in the Wilson and Gaved health history. In his thirties he was showing signs of arthritis. I do not think he will make old bones but very painful ones. You and Hilary are subject to the Gaved gene pool that means the addictive gene (which Hilary seems to have encountered) and the arthritic gene.
The Van Dijk frontal temporal lobe defect missed me completely but I see flashes in my mother of it. Admittedly she is not religious in the Dutch Reform church definition but she has her own form of spirituality. The god spot in my brain is absent, having no religion, spirituality, belief in ghosts, new age, or luck. All of which are exploitable for political control. As Gibbon said in Rome all religions were tolerated and useful.
Belief is personal, religion mind control.
My mother has no intention of trying to contact Hilary it is up to her to make the first move. Hilary is believed to have been in the wrong the last time they communicated.
I also received a taste of Hillary’s vitriol in the form of a letter. I keep that letter locked away with the other spiteful correspondence influenced by the Lawrence Gorgon.
As for personality sharing with Hilary, I seem to take after my Grandfather, and flushed with Klapwijk genes. Obduracy and miss-guided principals seem to be the hallmark. However I have the Irish temperament of the Goggin clan, which causes me to rebel as a matter of principal. Whatever genes or similarities shared, I am not influence by malevolent people, regardless how plausible they sound.
As Pauline said Joanne and her Dad are so close I can not seem to be able to get close. But she managed to come between!
When you were born you were very active and cried continually. Shirley was suffering postnatal depression so I was stuck holding the baby. You were still a fractious child when Hilary was born, I continued looking after you while Shirley coped with Hilary. I know who had the easier job. Hilary was sleeping all night long before you slept the whole night through at four. At the time I did not seem to need much sleep, luckily because I never got it. You were to say the least very hard work. I can understand how parents crack and commit infanticide. Continuous crying drives you to despair.
Dealing with Agents, we had a scriptwriter visit the writers group who said she only sent a one page outline to the agents. If they were interested she sent a two page synopsis. Sometimes she was paid for the synopsis to stop her publishing an idea that someone else was producing. I thought I could live on two page synopsis, after all Jeffery Archer seems to plagiarise for a living. Her big fear was that a production company liked her outline and wanted the completed play within the week.
I shall not be completing anything in a week, I am thankful I have got this far
Pax Tecum
Dad
Your mother is cock a hoop at a paper cutting of a mystery writing weekend that you were involved in. I am on the other hand distraught that you, part of my family has travelled so far down the five steps to tyranny and thinks that is not wrong.
Just to fill you in with the gory details of the unwelcome correspondence over the years. When Pauline left I had one letter from her, abuse and death threats from John and a visit by the chicken man. Later the police visited and warned me to be on the look out for that particular character.
Pauline arrived back on the island, found I had met Sue (the day before) and I was not willing to take her back. Then we had the physical attack on Sue by Pauline and Gowland, the legal action to get me out of the house, and our meeting in Aberdeen.
After intimidation by Pauline who just turned up at the house any time she felt like it and Jonathans threats to Peter and Jane next door, we decided to leave Doehouse (we legally had the right to remain living there as Pauline lost her case to throw me out).
South Waird was exdirectory but shortly after moving there The Spawn of Satan started to call. Angry Miss Harlot soon followed. Gowland worked at the Coastguard station, the ops room had to know my telephone number!
When we left Orkney the phone calls stopped. The letters and other things started to arrive at the Coastguard Station. By then I had sued for divorce and on my affidavit I noted the post code for the Coastguard Station was printed wrong. I informed my solicitor who told the sheriff to amend his copy. Pauline’s solicitor had a copy with the wrong postcode. All the abusive mail and unwanted post had the wrong post code on it. I do not think Drever and Heddle would be involved in any form of intimidation, and Pauline had a copy of my Affidavit. Maybe you could come to the same conclusion that we did about the origin of the abuse.
During my time at Forth we bought a house and moved from Kirkgate. Steve, who took over Kirkgate after we moved out said he passed on my address to a friend. We received a letter from Pauline about mail going missing between Orkney and Aberdeen on Christmas Eve, not the best of timing. At that time I was under massive stress with Aberdeen Bosses trying to get rid of me. Suffering bullying, discrimination and constructive dismissal at work I was about to resign and work for the council emergency planning department. The letter from Pauline prompted us to move with the Coastguard yet again.
By the year 2000 the intimidation stopped. I had received a few more terse letters sent to the Station at Amble and some very odd phone calls on the works phone, but by then it was over, or seemed to be. During that period I lost 4 back teeth.
I have been abuse free, moderately healthy (until recently) and having a good life with friends and family (except two). I consider myself a survivor, if not a little damaged by the experience. Knowing how bad it was, life is held on the whim of a few odd people that for now have other things to do.
As for our relationship, I suggest we just let it continue as is for a time. I am still hopeful of a more meaningful relationship at a later stage. I hope you realise that for me life has not been a bowl of cherries and I have had to make a new life for my self. Needs must. Hopefully you will also realise I am over cautious, and seem to suffer low level paranoia, however I can now mention Orkney without looking over my shoulder.
Love dad
Thanks for the message
Zak is a poppet really, he has taken two weeks to get perfectly comfortable, trying out all the seats and my bed. We are in negotiations about the squatters rights for the bed!!! He encountered his first hare yesterday, so I did not have to walk him much after that. Today he has been chasing stoats, not difficult to see still in winter white, but he lost them! All the woods on the moor rear pheasants mine is the only one with the rookery. The big problem is how to replace the pines with a deciduous coppice without loosing the birds. Hopefully in the next twenty years I would have achieved it. At the present rate of work, the timetable for completion on the house has some slippage, completion is nearing 2083 so a twenty year coppice should be no problem.
I saw a site with your mystery games on it, as it asked for money I veered off and was not sure what it was all about. I had no idea you were into programming, or have I got it wrong?
I have managed to get the new hen house ready, but it means I will not be able to stay over night at Kathy’s so they still reside in the Goatel, which gives them ample room and light yet secure from wondering foxes. I have managed to bring down the top part of the Yew tree. The rest will have to be cleared away before the goats arrive. The body still packs up before the chainsaw.
For light relief I ordered the veg seeds and looking forward to commissioning the greenhouse. I have heard that food is to become more expensive and in short supply. Onions are suppose to be really scares this year, however I seem to have no difficulty in getting sets at a reasonable price, the rate at which they germinate may in the end prove expensive.
With all the birds I am still without a fresh egg. The Peking bantams are believed to be as prolific in egg laying as silkies with the same broody habits. The Buff Orpington is over 6 years old so I am not expecting much from her. It looks like I may have to splash out on some more. Buff Orpingtons are my favourite but Marans seem in plentiful supply locally, both sadly are rare breeds.
I saw Hilary’s profile on Facebook, her friends did not include Christopher, but did include Jonathan Sam and a few female Martells! Ben Farrer is also on facebook. It shows how desirable Facebook membership can be.
Chris spent most of August with me last year. He was in quite a bad state with cocaine addiction. He stayed about 6 weeks before deciding to make a fresh start down south. He assures me that since he met Andrea he has been clear. The last I heard he was setting up house with Andrea in Maidstone. As Chris only contacts me when desperate or wants something, absence of communications means all is OK. I will let him know when I have a room ready for his holidays. Although I have known him all his life, I still feel I do not know him or what makes him tick. He is very much like Brian, but I see lots of Shirley in him. The addictive gene runs through the Gaved line. Arthritis gene is prevalent in the Wilson and Gaved health history. In his thirties he was showing signs of arthritis. I do not think he will make old bones but very painful ones. You and Hilary are subject to the Gaved gene pool that means the addictive gene (which Hilary seems to have encountered) and the arthritic gene.
The Van Dijk frontal temporal lobe defect missed me completely but I see flashes in my mother of it. Admittedly she is not religious in the Dutch Reform church definition but she has her own form of spirituality. The god spot in my brain is absent, having no religion, spirituality, belief in ghosts, new age, or luck. All of which are exploitable for political control. As Gibbon said in Rome all religions were tolerated and useful.
Belief is personal, religion mind control.
My mother has no intention of trying to contact Hilary it is up to her to make the first move. Hilary is believed to have been in the wrong the last time they communicated.
I also received a taste of Hillary’s vitriol in the form of a letter. I keep that letter locked away with the other spiteful correspondence influenced by the Lawrence Gorgon.
As for personality sharing with Hilary, I seem to take after my Grandfather, and flushed with Klapwijk genes. Obduracy and miss-guided principals seem to be the hallmark. However I have the Irish temperament of the Goggin clan, which causes me to rebel as a matter of principal. Whatever genes or similarities shared, I am not influence by malevolent people, regardless how plausible they sound.
As Pauline said Joanne and her Dad are so close I can not seem to be able to get close. But she managed to come between!
When you were born you were very active and cried continually. Shirley was suffering postnatal depression so I was stuck holding the baby. You were still a fractious child when Hilary was born, I continued looking after you while Shirley coped with Hilary. I know who had the easier job. Hilary was sleeping all night long before you slept the whole night through at four. At the time I did not seem to need much sleep, luckily because I never got it. You were to say the least very hard work. I can understand how parents crack and commit infanticide. Continuous crying drives you to despair.
Dealing with Agents, we had a scriptwriter visit the writers group who said she only sent a one page outline to the agents. If they were interested she sent a two page synopsis. Sometimes she was paid for the synopsis to stop her publishing an idea that someone else was producing. I thought I could live on two page synopsis, after all Jeffery Archer seems to plagiarise for a living. Her big fear was that a production company liked her outline and wanted the completed play within the week.
I shall not be completing anything in a week, I am thankful I have got this far
Pax Tecum
Dad
Hi Dad,
20 year project! You always did think long-term! Don’t envy you the task at all. We are considering having an extension on the dining room. It would ordinarily be called a conservatory, but we are going for brick half height walls and a proper roof so we have to go through planning etc. Needless to say we’ll be using a builder, we aren’t that practical! That will be a two year project I think, in order for us to save up, but the builder is aware of that. If it weren’t that the bay was rotting slowly we wouldn’t have bothered, but with the rot already at the inside sill we knew we were going to have to replace the bay anyway and we are only looking at a couple of thousand more to extend, so we thought – why not?
I’m on three websites now, so it depends which site you were on. My own page which I’ve put together myself using a program called site spinner (basically a cut and paste and template job) iswww.joannesmedley.com ; then there is www.host-party.com which retails my earlier games and is where I started out, and www.red-herring-games.co.uk which is my own company formed just last year. I went into business with friends who are website programmers and Red Herring Games was formed out of that. I do some of the website info, but only what I’ve been taught and it is all within a set program so I just write in words and it does it for me. I am no use with HTML writing etc. Way over my head! I’m also on www.helium.com which is a writing site that you might be interested in, if you haven’t already joined up. It pays (badly) but every now and again you get the opportunity to write for a company and you are in competition with other competing writers and it is the best man if you like who wins. If you get a contract it is a couple of quid, otherwise just a cent here and there, but it gets your name into the publishing arena, and while I am looking for an agent any publicity is good publicity as they say.
My mainstay is still writing games, but I’m now mentoring new authors on the site as well, which has it’s ups and downs. Writers are a peculiar lot at the best of times- but most are OK.
As I said, I don’t access facebook so have no idea who is on there. Hilary told me she only joined up because mum told her Christopher was on there… whether he is or not who knows. I wouldn’t even know how to go about finding out…
I’m glad you managed to sort out Chris. Mum rang in a terrible panic last year wanting contact info for you as he was in such a state and I gave her what I had, which at the time was next to nothing except for an old work’s mobile and a blocked email address. Obviously she managed to get hold of you somehow. I spoke to Chris then, but haven’t since. Hilary keeps in more regular contact and has visited him a couple of times as well.
So far I am arthritis clear, and as for God, you know where I stand on that front. Hilary too is in the peak of health so far. I wish I had her energy! She barely sleeps! Just wait until she decides to settle down and start a family…..
Iona and Tristan are still up over night, though it is tailing off. Tristan occasionally manages to sleep through all night, but if he does, he rises at 5.40. It’s nearly 6, so I suppose I can’t complain.
I’m currently on my second book (probably the fifth if I count all the half completed tomes) but the game writing is what pays so I need to concentrate on that for now until the kids are both in preschool and I have 10 hours a week to give a book justice.
Meanwhile I suppose I better get back to work. All this idle chit chat gets me no where and I have to get my current game done before either one of my other authors gets back to me with a lot of proof reading or the last two games come back from the editors for me to format and upload!
Much love
Jo (magnus, Iona and Tristan)
Dear Jo and Magnus
I am definitely in relapse due to lack of pacing, ho hum. So I am bound to get another telling off by the immunologist I a fortnight. The immunologist I have been seeing is a very pleasant and helpful Pole. The British ones seem to have escaped to Australia where the wages and respect are superior.
I built a conservatory on the last house and it helped to achieve the asking price. It too was part brick wall with a vast area of window ledges for plants. Both Sylvia and Kathy told me in the strongest terms that it is suppose to be an extra room not a heated greenhouse. This time of the year the ledges would be filled with seedlings waiting till after 20th March ( + or – 5 days is historically the last gales and snow of the year) to go into the greenhouse.
I can not remember which site I went on to find your games. I just Googled your name and saw what you were writing. I have to be very careful with my name as others with a less than pleasant nature could cause havoc on the web. I saw helium.com, but am not up to the concentration needed for creative writing or to critique others. There are quite a few sites like Helium, I think I have joined a few but have not got round to using them properly.
As for facebook Christopher is not on it, and I could not find Shirley but Martells are alive and well. It is obvious that Hilary still wants to communicate with them.
I am not surprised Shirley did not know how to contact me. I use to have Christmas cards from Judith, however about four years ago that stopped. I naturally assume she was got at, and no longer wanted to keep in touch. I have become use to friends turning their back or repeating some made up drivel by some one in Orkney, even people I have helped and own their position to my efforts. If people want to believe the rubbish put about I can do without their friendship, I do not prostitute my principals trying to counter the last piece of libellous slander emanating from Doehouse. There are still genuine people to be found on the moral high ground, I leave the gutter to others.
I am glad Hilary is OK and in the best of health, one day she may want contact, but I am not bothered either way. When she realises how badly she has been used, and how it was done, she may need some professional counselling.
Religion is a wonderful thing, you are not bothered by conscience. All you need to do is contact god, beg forgiveness and all the evil deeds of your life are washed away leaving you as clean as driven snow. I hope there is a god and also good and evil, heaven and hell. It would be reassuring that two people will be classified as evil and burn for eternity. Surely evil is not rewarded by direct passage to heaven because they had to beg forgiveness a few hundred times. Is their not justice in the after life? Do good people that live virtuous lives have to burn because they do not know of the Trinity, or reject it as troublesome and illogical? Is it only those with the sign of the fish on the car that goes to heaven?
Considering your day started at 5 am before you were four, you have no right to complain about a 5.40 start. On top of your sleepless routine I also had to do watches night, day and overtime. I am amazed I managed it, and still make time for the Liberal party, CLEAR, CSA, and Amnesty. It is not surprising I am suffering pay back time.
Pax Tecum
Dad
I am definitely in relapse due to lack of pacing, ho hum. So I am bound to get another telling off by the immunologist I a fortnight. The immunologist I have been seeing is a very pleasant and helpful Pole. The British ones seem to have escaped to Australia where the wages and respect are superior.
I built a conservatory on the last house and it helped to achieve the asking price. It too was part brick wall with a vast area of window ledges for plants. Both Sylvia and Kathy told me in the strongest terms that it is suppose to be an extra room not a heated greenhouse. This time of the year the ledges would be filled with seedlings waiting till after 20th March ( + or – 5 days is historically the last gales and snow of the year) to go into the greenhouse.
I can not remember which site I went on to find your games. I just Googled your name and saw what you were writing. I have to be very careful with my name as others with a less than pleasant nature could cause havoc on the web. I saw helium.com, but am not up to the concentration needed for creative writing or to critique others. There are quite a few sites like Helium, I think I have joined a few but have not got round to using them properly.
As for facebook Christopher is not on it, and I could not find Shirley but Martells are alive and well. It is obvious that Hilary still wants to communicate with them.
I am not surprised Shirley did not know how to contact me. I use to have Christmas cards from Judith, however about four years ago that stopped. I naturally assume she was got at, and no longer wanted to keep in touch. I have become use to friends turning their back or repeating some made up drivel by some one in Orkney, even people I have helped and own their position to my efforts. If people want to believe the rubbish put about I can do without their friendship, I do not prostitute my principals trying to counter the last piece of libellous slander emanating from Doehouse. There are still genuine people to be found on the moral high ground, I leave the gutter to others.
I am glad Hilary is OK and in the best of health, one day she may want contact, but I am not bothered either way. When she realises how badly she has been used, and how it was done, she may need some professional counselling.
Religion is a wonderful thing, you are not bothered by conscience. All you need to do is contact god, beg forgiveness and all the evil deeds of your life are washed away leaving you as clean as driven snow. I hope there is a god and also good and evil, heaven and hell. It would be reassuring that two people will be classified as evil and burn for eternity. Surely evil is not rewarded by direct passage to heaven because they had to beg forgiveness a few hundred times. Is their not justice in the after life? Do good people that live virtuous lives have to burn because they do not know of the Trinity, or reject it as troublesome and illogical? Is it only those with the sign of the fish on the car that goes to heaven?
Considering your day started at 5 am before you were four, you have no right to complain about a 5.40 start. On top of your sleepless routine I also had to do watches night, day and overtime. I am amazed I managed it, and still make time for the Liberal party, CLEAR, CSA, and Amnesty. It is not surprising I am suffering pay back time.
Pax Tecum
Dad
Hi Dad,
I don’t think I’ve seen more than one UK doctor in all the time I’ve been in Grimsby . Most of ours are Indian or thereabouts. Grimsby is just not a happening enough place I think for most UK medics. As to austrailia, most of their work force is busy migrating to the UK as fast as the UK lot migrate there. The Australians tell me that the droughts are getting worse and worse and so therefore they are moving back to more temperate climes. Weird!
The only sill we have in the house is in the kitchen and Iona decided to plant flowers this year which I am desperately trying to keep alive. I am not naturally green fingered and tend to kill anything that uses photosynthesis…so far they are still growing, but when they have to getrepotted who knows!
The dining room gets no direct sun so the conservatory will not be so much as a sun trap as a garden viewing point and somewhere else to sit and have parties. It should work out well and the writing will hopefully pay for it next year. Something to work towards at any rate.
Judith moved away from edingburgh about four years ago to live nearer Nan who isn’t very well at all – too many strokes. She then moved back to Edinburgh last year as she couldn’t stand Hereford so there have been two address changes. And it sounds as though you have moved house a lot so I think it is probably a natural slip rather than any intent. As you know, I don’t know where you live, and I don’t ask Christopher as I figure if you wanted me to know you’d tell me.
Hilary told me Shirley was on facebook so as I don’t use the site I don’t know. Sam got married so Alana is probably the female Martell you have found, or Tom’s Sarah and her eldest daughter Rachel who Hilary is quite close to.
As to the wake up time – I can’t complain really, as you say I was a nightmare child. My consoling thought is that one day I’ll be where you are and Iona will have kids of her own and I can then tell her what she was like and hand the baby back and get a good night’s sleep myelf! Still, that’s a long way off. Iona tells me she won’t move out until she’s 36, will drive a purple car and when asked what she wants to be when she grows up get’s all upset and says she “wants to stay Iona”. She’s a real gem. Great sense of humour, kind and considerate and a really bright spark. A pleasure to know – but then, I am biased as her mother!
If you want anything doing you always ask a busy person, and even with the kids I am still on the go from morning until night. I’ve just finished “The Atomic Bombshell” and proofreading another author’s work so can now have a well earned night off – If Tristan will let me. (He’s thrown up twice this evening and looks to be sickening for D and V. lovely!)
Anyway – he’s been wailing for the last 10 minutes now, so it looks as though my idea of letting him scream himself to sleep isn’t working!
Much love – and DO try to pace!
jo
Dear Jo and Magnus
Thanks for the mail, you do have a rapid rate of return, I sadly lack.
Post budget, aren’t you just sick of the dammed thing after one day? It is like news 24, breaking news, repetition of the trivial but made more important by the repetition. However I will have to go for another medical so the government can cancel my incapacity benefit. Even Job seekers allowance is a saving. I wonder who would want to employ a burnt out case? How I wish I continued with politics, the new bunch of Liberals are so plastic and moulded, totally aimless and like the rest pandering to the media for ideas and sound bites. Even Alan Beith, once a radical has lost his drive. The last letters I wrote to him were very disappointing in their reply. He seems to have lost his fire and rage at injustice. I am waiting for a green candidate to oppose him, it will probably mean the Tories get in but they are no different from Labour, or Liberals, all are Thatchers babes.
My mother still thinks Thatcher was wonderful, I still hate her with a passion only surpassed by disgust for Pinochet, Enoch Powell and their ilk. I saw a programme on TV about the rivers of blood speech, and some how they seem to be justifying it. Only Roy Hattersley gave a brisk rebuttal of the distasteful episode.
I say watching TV what I mean is watching the play again facility by the BBC on the computer. I seem unable to stay awake long enough to watch actual TV. At Doehouse the News at ten was my cue to sit down and unwind for the night, now it’s the news at six, ho hum
Your expertise with plants is disappointing. Try keeping an aspidistra they are almost indestructible. If you made room for a greenhouse, even a modest 8’ by 6’ at the end of the garden it can be rewarding. Nothing is better than fresh salad, home grown. Tomatoes fresh from the vine can not be beaten. At White Wings I made the mistake of putting a grapevine in one of the greenhouses. They take over and exclude the light from other crops I am sure they must emit a chemical in the air to stifle other crops. That greenhouse was only suitable for seedlings, once the vine sprouted all growing ceased.
As for your flower to repot, Flower production relies on keeping the plant badly. Good compost, plenty of room, and regular feeding encourages leaf growth. When you stress the poor plant it thinks it is going to die so must flower and seed as quickly as possible. You should have a good display providing you do not over water, better to keep it thirsty than drowned. Don’t worry about timing when the plant lies on the floor begging then its time for water.
The new house lies North South so the back gets the morning sun and the front grand sunsets. We plan to build a conservatory along the back of the house. I worry about light levels so subconsciously am planning for a new heated greenhouse, and continuous telling off.
I am sorry to hear Judith moved. She bought her council house in a pleasant small site close to the beach. She would have found it difficult to find another house that affordable, or that location but probably got a good price. The cost of relocating to Hereford must have been expensive!
I was less nomadic at White Wings and actually stayed in the same house for seven years, longer than any other house. Judith had that address so I wonder what went wrong?
One day I do hope to let you know where I live and for you to visit but that day is a long way off and many questions need to be asked and other relationships resolved.
I am glad Thomas settled down and seems to be happily married. I have no idea what happened to Guy and Dorothea ( I have no idea how to spell her name, I think it was French for Dorothy). I hope they are all well. I have nothing against them, they were a joy to assist through their education. I had nothing to do with Sam, and can only judge him by his actions towards me. The boys were not to be disciplined by me that was Pauline’s duty. I did consider I was allowed to defend myself when physically attacked. It was the first attack by Jonathan and Pauline’s support for it that made me leave Doehouse in 93. My mistake was returning. As I told you and Hilary in the letters I wrote to you in 93 I could not stand the violence any longer.
As for a nightmare child, that you never were, just your sleeping or not habits. Nothing gave me more pleasure than parenthood, you were the centre of my life, nothing was more important or so rewarding. Shirley thought I loved you both more than her, in the end she was right. Admittedly I was never any good with babies, but did learn quickly what to do and what stopped crying. Walking the boards for hours was replaced by reading stories. The best thing I bought was the back carrier. I seemed to have a child on my back for years. If Iona has a great sense of humour, kind and considerate, and a really bright spark she is only taking after you.
The water is a filthy brown at the moment. The water board told me to run the tape for about 30 minutes and it should clear. They think it is sediment disturbed in an old cast iron pipe. One hour on the water is still an awful colour, I’ve eaten soup lighter! I read we are too hygienic for our own good, and should take a pinch of dirt occasionally. The tea I tried to drink tastes healthy! It has more sediment than cocoa. I shall take the opportunity of collecting an artificial tan by taking a bath!
Pax tecum
Dad
Thanks for the mail, you do have a rapid rate of return, I sadly lack.
Post budget, aren’t you just sick of the dammed thing after one day? It is like news 24, breaking news, repetition of the trivial but made more important by the repetition. However I will have to go for another medical so the government can cancel my incapacity benefit. Even Job seekers allowance is a saving. I wonder who would want to employ a burnt out case? How I wish I continued with politics, the new bunch of Liberals are so plastic and moulded, totally aimless and like the rest pandering to the media for ideas and sound bites. Even Alan Beith, once a radical has lost his drive. The last letters I wrote to him were very disappointing in their reply. He seems to have lost his fire and rage at injustice. I am waiting for a green candidate to oppose him, it will probably mean the Tories get in but they are no different from Labour, or Liberals, all are Thatchers babes.
My mother still thinks Thatcher was wonderful, I still hate her with a passion only surpassed by disgust for Pinochet, Enoch Powell and their ilk. I saw a programme on TV about the rivers of blood speech, and some how they seem to be justifying it. Only Roy Hattersley gave a brisk rebuttal of the distasteful episode.
I say watching TV what I mean is watching the play again facility by the BBC on the computer. I seem unable to stay awake long enough to watch actual TV. At Doehouse the News at ten was my cue to sit down and unwind for the night, now it’s the news at six, ho hum
Your expertise with plants is disappointing. Try keeping an aspidistra they are almost indestructible. If you made room for a greenhouse, even a modest 8’ by 6’ at the end of the garden it can be rewarding. Nothing is better than fresh salad, home grown. Tomatoes fresh from the vine can not be beaten. At White Wings I made the mistake of putting a grapevine in one of the greenhouses. They take over and exclude the light from other crops I am sure they must emit a chemical in the air to stifle other crops. That greenhouse was only suitable for seedlings, once the vine sprouted all growing ceased.
As for your flower to repot, Flower production relies on keeping the plant badly. Good compost, plenty of room, and regular feeding encourages leaf growth. When you stress the poor plant it thinks it is going to die so must flower and seed as quickly as possible. You should have a good display providing you do not over water, better to keep it thirsty than drowned. Don’t worry about timing when the plant lies on the floor begging then its time for water.
The new house lies North South so the back gets the morning sun and the front grand sunsets. We plan to build a conservatory along the back of the house. I worry about light levels so subconsciously am planning for a new heated greenhouse, and continuous telling off.
I am sorry to hear Judith moved. She bought her council house in a pleasant small site close to the beach. She would have found it difficult to find another house that affordable, or that location but probably got a good price. The cost of relocating to Hereford must have been expensive!
I was less nomadic at White Wings and actually stayed in the same house for seven years, longer than any other house. Judith had that address so I wonder what went wrong?
One day I do hope to let you know where I live and for you to visit but that day is a long way off and many questions need to be asked and other relationships resolved.
I am glad Thomas settled down and seems to be happily married. I have no idea what happened to Guy and Dorothea ( I have no idea how to spell her name, I think it was French for Dorothy). I hope they are all well. I have nothing against them, they were a joy to assist through their education. I had nothing to do with Sam, and can only judge him by his actions towards me. The boys were not to be disciplined by me that was Pauline’s duty. I did consider I was allowed to defend myself when physically attacked. It was the first attack by Jonathan and Pauline’s support for it that made me leave Doehouse in 93. My mistake was returning. As I told you and Hilary in the letters I wrote to you in 93 I could not stand the violence any longer.
As for a nightmare child, that you never were, just your sleeping or not habits. Nothing gave me more pleasure than parenthood, you were the centre of my life, nothing was more important or so rewarding. Shirley thought I loved you both more than her, in the end she was right. Admittedly I was never any good with babies, but did learn quickly what to do and what stopped crying. Walking the boards for hours was replaced by reading stories. The best thing I bought was the back carrier. I seemed to have a child on my back for years. If Iona has a great sense of humour, kind and considerate, and a really bright spark she is only taking after you.
The water is a filthy brown at the moment. The water board told me to run the tape for about 30 minutes and it should clear. They think it is sediment disturbed in an old cast iron pipe. One hour on the water is still an awful colour, I’ve eaten soup lighter! I read we are too hygienic for our own good, and should take a pinch of dirt occasionally. The tea I tried to drink tastes healthy! It has more sediment than cocoa. I shall take the opportunity of collecting an artificial tan by taking a bath!
Pax tecum
Dad
Not so rapid this time I think….
Had a bit of work on, another author got back to me yesterday with some proof reading and I had a youth group to prepare for as well. Still, things have calmed down again now. Phew! And Magnus is at home to help with the kids which also helps.
I didn’t even know the budget had been and gone. I suppose I should pay more attention to the news, but I tend to glean the important things from a quick internet search when I have time and the TV is rarely on at all – except for kids programs. Politics has never been something I could discuss with any enthusiasm or interest. I couldn’t even tell you who headed the Lib dems and Conservatives, I thought the libs had that red head chap, forget his name – but I hear he’s not there now either, so who knows. I think I would fail the typical dementia tests these days when they mention the prime minister, but then I do know Tony stepped down and we have Gordon Brown now so perhaps not!
We bought a set top box with that record facility thing imbedded in it which we have found to be more than worth the money we paid. Now we just set the box to record Horizon and any other programme we happen to have an interest in (usually murder mysteries) and when we do have time to sit in front of the box we go to what we have recorded and watch that. It has made things a lot easier and a lot more relevant – you’d probably benefit from getting one if you can as it’ll make viewing a lot easier for you.
My expertise with plants probably suffers a little as the house is north facing and we have no windows on the south side and no window ledges either. I tend to stick everything in the garden to give it a chance and if it thrives – good and if not, the compost bin gets it. So far Iona ’s seedlings are still alive. I do have a fairly healthy strawberry patch and a good blackcurrent bush that I planted a few years ago. The gooseberry bush has leaves, but the berries went mouldy on the bush last year so that was no use. I moved it away from it’s old location as some caterpillars stripped it bare and it seems better where it is (as they haven’t found it yet) but no berries. Rhubarb of course does well. It even likes dog muck which is great. I used to plant out lettuce and did have a healthy patch a few years ago, but found they weren’t available when I wanted them and bolted when I did. Typical! The herb patch is hit and miss, probably due to the dog selecting where he will pee from year to year. I can never seem to keep sage alive, which everyone assures me is easy normally, and the rosemary too has died two years running so I’ll be off to the garden centre again this year to buy more. Again I blame the dog. We did install a two foot high wall around the garden to give him something to aim for, but he does so much prefer weeing on the plants which we have now elevated to a better sniffing height! Dogs save the grass, but bitches are better for the borders I expect. Not that we have much lawn. This house is a little like Fernleigh – all moss. At least cutting the “lawn” is easy!!
Tomatoes are under consideration as we have friends who manage to grow them outside each year. But we havne’t made out mind up on that front yet. I think Iona would rather we grew a sunflower as she hates tomatoes.
Guy and Dorothee have three kids now, joseph, Daisy and Tanguy. Tanguy is about the same age as Iona and they play well when we do get together which isn’t often. The last time was Grandma’s funeral last August. We keep meaning to get over to france to see them, but Magnus hates flying and I don’t really enjoy ferries all that much, so we’ll see.
We keep talking of “doing” Northumbria , specifically Lindesfarne and the rest Each time we discuss it we say it would be nice to pop in and see you, but so far we haven’t made any plans. I don’t suppose we’ll do Northumbria any time soon, but I’ve always said to Magnus it would be a shame to be up that way and not visit. One day….
93 sounds like a long time ago – well it is 15 years nearly. A lot changes in that time and I haven’t kept any correspondence. Life goes on. People change. The past is there to learn from and you can let it shape and colour your life in a positive way or a negative one. I hope I’ve pick the former. I try to look back and remember the positive bits, learn from the negative bits and not dwell on them. As someone explained to me the other day, if you took a potato for every time someone offended or upset you, you would soon have a sack of them. No one would care you were carrying them around, or realise it had anything to do with them or offer to help. Pretty soon your potatoes would go off. And we all know how that smells!! It is a good analogy I think. You can either dwell on your wrongs and get bitter, or learn to put them aside and move on.
Shirley and me have finally established a relationship of sorts. We don’t know each other very well, but can talk for 20 minutes on the phone without awkward silences (or discussing Hilary all the time) when we do chat which is progress. We’re planning on visiting at some point this year for a brief stop – not over night, just an afternoon so she can meet the kids – then we’ll probably have more to talk about. She’s not the best communicator either on email or in letter form, but I know she cares. Nan Gavid isn’t very well. She has a clot on her atrium and has had so many strokes I am not sure she has long for this world. Shirley seems to spend a lot time travelling up to Hereford on the bus. (Terry doesn’t like driving that far). She is of the same opinion as me and we both hope the next one finishes the job rather than just reduces her quality of life again. Seeing her attempt at handwriting in the Christmas cards is very sad and she is very frustrated by it all.
Anyway – Magnus has given me this time to write while Tristan is in bed and I can hear Iona pestering him with board games, so I better get something achieved!
I Hope your water has improve in taste, if not in colour. If you have hard water I would investigate Eco-flow. It is a good way of decreasing the limescale without fernox and other chemicals. It also improves gas consumption, oil and petrol. So a good all round environmentally friendly product. I have a Bio-flow for my eczema, Magnus has one for his arthritic knees – not sure if one might help your CFS? Might be worth a shot.
Lots of love
jo
Dear Jo and Magnus
Sorry for the delayed reply my get up and go got up and went.
With Magnus home to help look after the kids, you may start to think what it was like as a single parent. My mother was no use only interested in the garden, but she was a presence when school was out. My move to Hartland was to give me the weekend free and more time in school holidays, not that it worked out that way
Politics are important, many devout religious people ignore politics believing it superfluous to the more important after life. Indifference to politics enables less than savoury characters like Mussolini, and Hitler to get a foothold into power. As for the Lib/Dems, the red headed one was Charles Kennedy an ex SDP candidate. He was deposed because of his excessive taste for the hardstuff. Ming took over for a while but had lost the drive and determination he exhibited when he was my prospective Parliamentary candidate in Fife. I think Elsbeth’s drinking and his cancer treatment exhausted his resolve. He has been replaced with Nick Clegg an ambitious young man lacking conviction or purpose.
Interest in politics and belonging to a political part for me was not slavish devotion to the dogma of the leaders but a chance to change direction of the party and influence just government of the people. Pandering to the majority view is easy; to stand for the minority view and the rights of the individual is more demanding and worth striving for. Fired by the ideas of John Stuart Mill I have always tried to protect the rights of the minority whatever political vehicle I chose to use. Politics in its raw state is a thirst for power. From power jostling in the office to intrigue within powerful parties or religious bodies, politics are alive and well. You would not meekly allow the office bully to abuse their position at work, nor should you allow Police, armed forces, and ambitious politicians free reign.
Being politically aware means you are constantly questioning your views and the rationale of others. I am amazed the majority blindly follow party dogma or religious text without understanding the background and reason for the publication. Ask any Midwest bible belt congregation to recite text from the New Testament and they will surprisingly quote quite accurately the text, but ask them why it was chosen to be included by the editor of the New Testament they would not have a clue. Most have no idea whom edited the New Testament and why he chose the four books, acts and letters, instead of a narrative text like the Old Testament. Politics of the early church, within the events of Pax Roma and the destruction of the temple of Jerusalem all influence the Testament. Destroying books, (Julian) and quoting chapter and verse can stop new facts appearing of the other gospels, with the schisms and upheavals that will cause.
I have three freeview boxes, why or how I accumulated that many I haven’t a clue! They are primitive devices and just give me access to channels I never watch. If anything goes wrong with the transmissions only the buying channels work? Uk History seems to be the first channel to fail. From the house I can see the transmitting aerial so I get good reception now. When they pack up I may look to see what new gadget is on the market. I have not mastered the DVD recorder yet, life is too short to drink poor wine and read instruction books.
Your gooseberries, the mould on the berry is a sign of a lack of air flow through the bush. Cut out the internal branches and allow the bush to fan out. The cuttings can be planted to form new plants, to give away or stop water buffalo rampaging through the garden. The stripping of leaves is quite a normal event. Some years the caterpillars are prolific. They have few predators, only water buffaloes seem to keep them in check. I trust you know how to take cuttings of soft fruit shrubs?
I had to leave my red and white current bushes at White Wings but took cuttings before I left. The writing on the labels have disappeared (where I still have labels) so I can not be too fussy where I want what colour fruit. The logic of a line of black, red and white has faded I now extol the virtue of mutual support given by mixing the shrubs up.
Getting across the channel to see Guy, may I suggest an hour of claustrophobia in the Chunnel. It is allegedly designed exclusively for the British that crave long queues, poor air quality, and hate scenery. All that matters is the cost. As long as Kids go free (in the guard’s van) or buy one fare get one free the Tunnel will be popular. I believe the baggage search is quicker at the Dover end as there is no duty on Tea in France. The French even have coffee, but then they may not have Maxwell house or Tesco special instant, so the out going suitcases are predictably similar to picnic hampers.
Holy Island has been the bane of my Coastguard life. If you google my name all you get is an article about safe crossing times on the local news, nothing about the rescues, or other safety initiatives.
We took some friends Mat and Becks to Holy Island the weekend before Easter. Easter weekend is always a nightmare. The dogs had the north beach all to themselves, and we were able to park by Tommy’s fishing shed to walk the harbour. I must admit after all the time on the island I still have not done the castle, although I walked over Gertrude Jekll’s garden quite a few times.
The events of 93 and 94 are a long way off but the effects are still prevalent. If the families had split down family lines, observers viewing Pauline’s dysfunctional family and our normal group would assume the split would have be the obvious step. With you and Hilary joining the Dysfunctional group then it indicates that I was the cause of the dysfunctioality. What a sound move by Pauline!
As for collecting potatoes! My potatoes are rocket propelled and destroyed the house. The potatoes are still coming, and I still do not have a relationship with my family. I have not spoken to or heard from Hilary since 96 when she excelled in abuse. The ranting of Hilary when she was last talked at, shocked my mother. I have received many a ranting by irate Christians that feel they are entitled to phone a stranger and accuse them of some febrile mind invention. The break up of my family is not a thing of the past that can be overcome with a few Hail Mary’s bread and wine. It is an open sore where the puss of slander and libel is encouraged to flow. I hope you never know the pain of it all. I assure you there were times walking the cliffs of St. Abbs that the painless step off seemed inviting. Only the anger of the injustice has kept me going.
When dealing with Shirley try to remember she is not the same as she was as a mother. She has been sucked into a new life, and has little in common to the woman I married or lived with all those years ago. She is a product of her lifestyle, treat her not harshly. Her maiden name was Gaved not Gavid, a quirk of Devonian spelling.
I have no idea what Bio-flow is, but pick up the goats in 10 days time to get rid of any rough patches of skin. One goat is an Alpine the other Anglo Nubian cross Alpine. They kidded as goatlings so have not developed fully. They will need the full tender loving care formula.
That’s it for now
Pax tecum
Dad
Sorry for the delayed reply my get up and go got up and went.
With Magnus home to help look after the kids, you may start to think what it was like as a single parent. My mother was no use only interested in the garden, but she was a presence when school was out. My move to Hartland was to give me the weekend free and more time in school holidays, not that it worked out that way
Politics are important, many devout religious people ignore politics believing it superfluous to the more important after life. Indifference to politics enables less than savoury characters like Mussolini, and Hitler to get a foothold into power. As for the Lib/Dems, the red headed one was Charles Kennedy an ex SDP candidate. He was deposed because of his excessive taste for the hardstuff. Ming took over for a while but had lost the drive and determination he exhibited when he was my prospective Parliamentary candidate in Fife. I think Elsbeth’s drinking and his cancer treatment exhausted his resolve. He has been replaced with Nick Clegg an ambitious young man lacking conviction or purpose.
Interest in politics and belonging to a political part for me was not slavish devotion to the dogma of the leaders but a chance to change direction of the party and influence just government of the people. Pandering to the majority view is easy; to stand for the minority view and the rights of the individual is more demanding and worth striving for. Fired by the ideas of John Stuart Mill I have always tried to protect the rights of the minority whatever political vehicle I chose to use. Politics in its raw state is a thirst for power. From power jostling in the office to intrigue within powerful parties or religious bodies, politics are alive and well. You would not meekly allow the office bully to abuse their position at work, nor should you allow Police, armed forces, and ambitious politicians free reign.
Being politically aware means you are constantly questioning your views and the rationale of others. I am amazed the majority blindly follow party dogma or religious text without understanding the background and reason for the publication. Ask any Midwest bible belt congregation to recite text from the New Testament and they will surprisingly quote quite accurately the text, but ask them why it was chosen to be included by the editor of the New Testament they would not have a clue. Most have no idea whom edited the New Testament and why he chose the four books, acts and letters, instead of a narrative text like the Old Testament. Politics of the early church, within the events of Pax Roma and the destruction of the temple of Jerusalem all influence the Testament. Destroying books, (Julian) and quoting chapter and verse can stop new facts appearing of the other gospels, with the schisms and upheavals that will cause.
I have three freeview boxes, why or how I accumulated that many I haven’t a clue! They are primitive devices and just give me access to channels I never watch. If anything goes wrong with the transmissions only the buying channels work? Uk History seems to be the first channel to fail. From the house I can see the transmitting aerial so I get good reception now. When they pack up I may look to see what new gadget is on the market. I have not mastered the DVD recorder yet, life is too short to drink poor wine and read instruction books.
Your gooseberries, the mould on the berry is a sign of a lack of air flow through the bush. Cut out the internal branches and allow the bush to fan out. The cuttings can be planted to form new plants, to give away or stop water buffalo rampaging through the garden. The stripping of leaves is quite a normal event. Some years the caterpillars are prolific. They have few predators, only water buffaloes seem to keep them in check. I trust you know how to take cuttings of soft fruit shrubs?
I had to leave my red and white current bushes at White Wings but took cuttings before I left. The writing on the labels have disappeared (where I still have labels) so I can not be too fussy where I want what colour fruit. The logic of a line of black, red and white has faded I now extol the virtue of mutual support given by mixing the shrubs up.
Getting across the channel to see Guy, may I suggest an hour of claustrophobia in the Chunnel. It is allegedly designed exclusively for the British that crave long queues, poor air quality, and hate scenery. All that matters is the cost. As long as Kids go free (in the guard’s van) or buy one fare get one free the Tunnel will be popular. I believe the baggage search is quicker at the Dover end as there is no duty on Tea in France. The French even have coffee, but then they may not have Maxwell house or Tesco special instant, so the out going suitcases are predictably similar to picnic hampers.
Holy Island has been the bane of my Coastguard life. If you google my name all you get is an article about safe crossing times on the local news, nothing about the rescues, or other safety initiatives.
We took some friends Mat and Becks to Holy Island the weekend before Easter. Easter weekend is always a nightmare. The dogs had the north beach all to themselves, and we were able to park by Tommy’s fishing shed to walk the harbour. I must admit after all the time on the island I still have not done the castle, although I walked over Gertrude Jekll’s garden quite a few times.
The events of 93 and 94 are a long way off but the effects are still prevalent. If the families had split down family lines, observers viewing Pauline’s dysfunctional family and our normal group would assume the split would have be the obvious step. With you and Hilary joining the Dysfunctional group then it indicates that I was the cause of the dysfunctioality. What a sound move by Pauline!
As for collecting potatoes! My potatoes are rocket propelled and destroyed the house. The potatoes are still coming, and I still do not have a relationship with my family. I have not spoken to or heard from Hilary since 96 when she excelled in abuse. The ranting of Hilary when she was last talked at, shocked my mother. I have received many a ranting by irate Christians that feel they are entitled to phone a stranger and accuse them of some febrile mind invention. The break up of my family is not a thing of the past that can be overcome with a few Hail Mary’s bread and wine. It is an open sore where the puss of slander and libel is encouraged to flow. I hope you never know the pain of it all. I assure you there were times walking the cliffs of St. Abbs that the painless step off seemed inviting. Only the anger of the injustice has kept me going.
When dealing with Shirley try to remember she is not the same as she was as a mother. She has been sucked into a new life, and has little in common to the woman I married or lived with all those years ago. She is a product of her lifestyle, treat her not harshly. Her maiden name was Gaved not Gavid, a quirk of Devonian spelling.
I have no idea what Bio-flow is, but pick up the goats in 10 days time to get rid of any rough patches of skin. One goat is an Alpine the other Anglo Nubian cross Alpine. They kidded as goatlings so have not developed fully. They will need the full tender loving care formula.
That’s it for now
Pax tecum
Dad
Hi Dad,
Taking a break from the formatting process now. (I try to take Sundays off!) Just two more games to go and then I’m all done. At the moment I only get 1.50 a game for formatting, which at the current rate of sales is less than 10p an hour! But given a bit more time, and now that I have some search engine optimising pages on-line they should be selling sufficient to make the piecework part of that job well worth my time! And of course the other benefit is that once they are done they never need doing again, and they will continue to sell in that form for years and years, so although it’s hard work now, it will eventually pay off!
When the site is really trading properly I should be able to employ someone to do that tedious aspect of the work and concentrate more on my writing. I have about four different plotted out books now, I just need the time to sit down and write them, but while the kids are still at home for the majority of the day that will never happen, I need a good straight 2 hour pull each day to get a novel going, and being interrupted every 5 minutes to cut string, find the end of sellotape or discuss what colour will be made by mixing red and orange doesn’t really lend itself to maintaining concentration! You know how it is!
Iona has just had her end of term report. As we suspected she is VERY intelligent, much brighter than any child her age and even brighter than most of the kids one year older. They are debating whether to break the rules and send her into reception early, but somehow I doubt they will. Still, if she’s bored in pre-school it’ll be their problem not mine – and I can only say “Told you so”! Tristan will be attending in January so Iona will be able to occupy herself taking care of him a little. (When he’s not punching her, pinching her or pushing her over, trapping her hand in the door, rolling on top of her and generally being a boy!)
Cutting the middle out the gooseberry bush? How drastic should that be? I didn’t think there was that much internal to mine, but perhaps I’ll tempt fate with a pair of secateurs and see what happens… knowing me I’ll probably kill it. I may need to think of moving the bush instead, as I put it back to back with the blackcurrents and they are probably blocking the airflow to the gooseberries. I’ll have a look around the garden for a new spot – there are still plenty of gaps at the moment. I need to buy some more shrubs this year to fill the borders really as it is looking a little bare. The garden is this summer’s project – but how much of it gets done is another matter.
Nick Clegg rings bells, so perhaps I’m not too far out of touch – I just can’t bring the names to mind when asked. The lib dems always do well in our local council elections here, but Austin Mitchell will never be moved on as long as he is alive I think. He’s a very popular labour candidate and there is no hope of anyone else getting in while he is heading the party in Grimsby .
As to why the books got into the bible in their current format – there are a great many books available on the topic, but the way I see it, the bottom line is: if there is a God then he will make damn sure the right ones got in – so I’m not concerned. Why what books are in the bible only really bothers people on the outside of the church as they are looking for reasons NOT to believe, and if you come at faith from an “anti-god” perspective you will always find reasons to doubt it. It’s a little like conspiracy theorists. Those that believe the moon walk was faked always find good reasons to back their argument. The same goes for the bible. Those that believe find excellent reasons to do so, those that don’t find equally excellent reasons not to. There is no use arguing about it when we are on two separate sides of the fence. You won’t convince me and I won’t convince you. So we may as well drop it.
I too used to hoard potatoes, but I realised in the end it was doing me no good whatsoever, so I decided to ditch the lot of them and move on. I find you can do it if you are prepared to. I’m not saying it’s easy, but with determination you can put them behind you. I didn’t want to define myself by the negative experiences I had lived through, rather by who I am. I’ve met a lot of people down here who cannot let go of the past, and they have all gone bitter and twisted or worse depressed or mad or both. I didn’t want to end up in that predicament. That isn’t to say I don’t remember everything, but I don’t dwell on it. When I find myself turning inwards to think about stuff again I just close it off. It isn’t a case of saying Hail Mary’s (Not that I do anyway – that’s a catholic thing). It’s a choice of will. You just retake control of your life and not let it be defined by things that you would otherwise naturally dwell on. Do you think Nelson Mandela would have got to where he is today if he had let injustice and anger fester in his life? I’m sure you can think of other examples.
Did you see that thing on horizon the other day about memory? And how memories were reactivated and strengthened by continued recollection? They were using some drug or something to block the ability to recall events to dampen down the PTSD. Well, I suppose in a way it is something similar to that. The less attention you pay to it when you recall it to mind, the less attention your brain pays to storing the information again when you have finished thinking about it, and therefore the less it will affect you long term. It was interesting to see the science behind something I had worked out for myself.
As to the DVD recorder – just get someone who knows how to use it, or has more time, to show you how to do it. We always get a friend-who-does to explain thing to us in simple terms and then we just crack on with it. I can never read instruction manuals anyway – especially when they are translated poorly from Chinese!
As of yesterday the kids are all off on their Easter break, and Magnus has managed to get 5 days off work as well, so we’ll be out and about and I’ll still be trying to format the last two games and probably dealing with an irate author who won’t take advice and tells me is work is sellable as it is, to which I just tell him “I’m the boss” and tough –rewrite – so I may take a while replying again.
Much love
Jo
Dear Jo
What a few weeks, all dust and workmen, I could get frustrated watching their energy levels. It does no good thinking I could work like that but faster!! Phase one of the plumbing is now done, whoopee hot clean water and cold water running through the taps not the pipes. The bathroom will have to wait until I have done the plastering in three rooms so the partial rewiring can continue.
Zax has a bare spot on his back, some bite that has become infected because he continues to worry it. He looks sweet with a funnel round his head. I can hear where he is in the house by the ping on the plastic. He is not that co-ordinated and has a tendency to bump into things. Ironically an advertisement for pet insurance arrived in the post.
The goats have settled in well. They are producing next to no milk, but then I do not use much. A bit of tender loving care is something they have not had in the past. The (Farmer?) used goats to clear woodland of ivy. He started with two Anglo Nubian does and a non-registered alpine buck. He ended with a number of fist kidders all a year old most with horns, bucks entire and an unruly accumulation horned entire kids. There is nothing on their backs all with a score or 2 or less, including males.
Just the bees to get up and running for my land of milk and honey.
DEFRA has sent me mountains of forms to fill in. New regulations since Foot and Mouth mean even self-sufficient small holders have to be registered and spend most recreational hour’s form filling.
The other great event is a start to egg production, at last the poultry is laying, even Buffy the last Buff Orpington aged 6 plus years.
The English box ticking, form filling, continuous testing state education has a problem with the very dim and the very bright. Bog standard average IQ are catered for and seem to be well motivated, but the rest fall between the cracks. Scotland’s academy system still has the edge, and is immune to Westminster politics. A move further North (if Jobs allow) may be beneficial to Iona’s education. Don’t dismiss the idea out of hand, but bear it in mind. I am not sure how the modern society motivates it’s self. My generation worked hard for to give the off spring a better start in life than they had. Then came Maggie and state inducement to greed, thus I am no longer sure. I passed over the chance of promotion frequently to ensure you and Hilary completed your education. Thus allowed some ambitious members of my staff to gain promotion to jobs they could not handle.
As for the gooseberry bush, have no fear you can hack right down to the first branch without lasting damage. Physically moving the bush is not so safe, only to be attempted after fruiting for success. If you are a gambler then you can move it any time, if it survives then God wills.
The edition of the New Testament is an interesting conundrum. Assuming God had a hand in the guidance of the editor St. Jerome (an anti Semitic hot head) to selecting the books for the New Testament. He was obviously in agreement with the subsequent purge and murder of the Gnostics, the split in the church with the Greek orthodox and Coptic churches. Then skilfully allows an Arab goat herder to locate the jars of early writings known as the Dead Sea scrolls. He must have relished the finding of Thomas and Phillip’s gospel at Nag Hammadi. (The mention of the marriage of Jesus to Mary Magdalene to add a touch of spice, and a plot for Dan Brown to make a mint two millennium later).
After years of programs, witch hunts, purges, burning, inquisitions it is ironic that the early formation of (his) Church is finally subject to some perceived undue scrutiny. God does indeed move in mysterious ways. I am not bothered whether you believe in Christ, red mice on the moon, or Allah, providing you do not persecute those that believe in fairies at the bottom of the garden, blue mice on the moon or all powerful ginger cats on Mars.
I am not anti god, I see no proof she exists. Take for example Pauline Lawrence, allegedly God knows everything, knows why she consistently lied, knows the damaged she has done to families hers and others, and the churches she has joined, yet is unable to change her. Either God is not omnipotent therefore does not deserve to be worshipped or God is not bothered what damage or commandments Pauline breaks because it is Allah’s will. The strength of a religion can be measured by their deeds not what they say. You can not assert that 7/7 or 9/11 are good advertisements for a tolerant Islam (submission). Actions by the intolerant of Orkney can not be justified by the conversion to Christianity. The ends do not justify the means. After all I started as a devout Christian, with the films of Billy Graham explaining all I needed to know. My faith was shaken when attacked by suicide bombers in the Far East. The inability of Christianity to provide answers to the deaths of good people and my survival frustrated. My personal search for “the truth” started and still continues, behind I leave the faiths that were irrelevant or nonsensical, including Christianity, Islam, Buddhist, Hindu, Jehovah witness, Scientology, and spiritualism. I came, I saw, I rejected.
Like you I am trying to get on with life and leave the potatoes behind.
I had come to terms with loosing Hilary and you. I can come to terms with the fact that you are not part of my life. I do have a new life. New families, new grandchildren and no unresolved baggage. My friends know me for what I am not what they have heard. It is not my fault that you strengthen an invented memory by continuous recollection and reminiscing with Jonathan and Pauline. I want nothing to do with that violent and abusive normality. I have not gone out of my way to destroy Pauline, Jonathan, You or Hilary, I am just grateful to survive the ordeal. I have no intention of letting them or you destroy the rest of my life. These past soul searching years of rejection are over. I can move on without you if need be. I can do the same as you, write impersonal chatty letters of trivia as if nothing has happened, and retain my safe distance. As we travel the road of life we are shaped by the passage. I am more resilient since my marriage to Shirley, and Pauline. The Damage done by Pauline has taken its toll but Sue, Sylvia, and Kathy have brought me round to a new morality. Your life as you say is with Pauline, thus we have little in common, and a different view of morality. Viv la difference I suppose.
Pax tecum
Dad
What a few weeks, all dust and workmen, I could get frustrated watching their energy levels. It does no good thinking I could work like that but faster!! Phase one of the plumbing is now done, whoopee hot clean water and cold water running through the taps not the pipes. The bathroom will have to wait until I have done the plastering in three rooms so the partial rewiring can continue.
Zax has a bare spot on his back, some bite that has become infected because he continues to worry it. He looks sweet with a funnel round his head. I can hear where he is in the house by the ping on the plastic. He is not that co-ordinated and has a tendency to bump into things. Ironically an advertisement for pet insurance arrived in the post.
The goats have settled in well. They are producing next to no milk, but then I do not use much. A bit of tender loving care is something they have not had in the past. The (Farmer?) used goats to clear woodland of ivy. He started with two Anglo Nubian does and a non-registered alpine buck. He ended with a number of fist kidders all a year old most with horns, bucks entire and an unruly accumulation horned entire kids. There is nothing on their backs all with a score or 2 or less, including males.
Just the bees to get up and running for my land of milk and honey.
DEFRA has sent me mountains of forms to fill in. New regulations since Foot and Mouth mean even self-sufficient small holders have to be registered and spend most recreational hour’s form filling.
The other great event is a start to egg production, at last the poultry is laying, even Buffy the last Buff Orpington aged 6 plus years.
The English box ticking, form filling, continuous testing state education has a problem with the very dim and the very bright. Bog standard average IQ are catered for and seem to be well motivated, but the rest fall between the cracks. Scotland’s academy system still has the edge, and is immune to Westminster politics. A move further North (if Jobs allow) may be beneficial to Iona’s education. Don’t dismiss the idea out of hand, but bear it in mind. I am not sure how the modern society motivates it’s self. My generation worked hard for to give the off spring a better start in life than they had. Then came Maggie and state inducement to greed, thus I am no longer sure. I passed over the chance of promotion frequently to ensure you and Hilary completed your education. Thus allowed some ambitious members of my staff to gain promotion to jobs they could not handle.
As for the gooseberry bush, have no fear you can hack right down to the first branch without lasting damage. Physically moving the bush is not so safe, only to be attempted after fruiting for success. If you are a gambler then you can move it any time, if it survives then God wills.
The edition of the New Testament is an interesting conundrum. Assuming God had a hand in the guidance of the editor St. Jerome (an anti Semitic hot head) to selecting the books for the New Testament. He was obviously in agreement with the subsequent purge and murder of the Gnostics, the split in the church with the Greek orthodox and Coptic churches. Then skilfully allows an Arab goat herder to locate the jars of early writings known as the Dead Sea scrolls. He must have relished the finding of Thomas and Phillip’s gospel at Nag Hammadi. (The mention of the marriage of Jesus to Mary Magdalene to add a touch of spice, and a plot for Dan Brown to make a mint two millennium later).
After years of programs, witch hunts, purges, burning, inquisitions it is ironic that the early formation of (his) Church is finally subject to some perceived undue scrutiny. God does indeed move in mysterious ways. I am not bothered whether you believe in Christ, red mice on the moon, or Allah, providing you do not persecute those that believe in fairies at the bottom of the garden, blue mice on the moon or all powerful ginger cats on Mars.
I am not anti god, I see no proof she exists. Take for example Pauline Lawrence, allegedly God knows everything, knows why she consistently lied, knows the damaged she has done to families hers and others, and the churches she has joined, yet is unable to change her. Either God is not omnipotent therefore does not deserve to be worshipped or God is not bothered what damage or commandments Pauline breaks because it is Allah’s will. The strength of a religion can be measured by their deeds not what they say. You can not assert that 7/7 or 9/11 are good advertisements for a tolerant Islam (submission). Actions by the intolerant of Orkney can not be justified by the conversion to Christianity. The ends do not justify the means. After all I started as a devout Christian, with the films of Billy Graham explaining all I needed to know. My faith was shaken when attacked by suicide bombers in the Far East. The inability of Christianity to provide answers to the deaths of good people and my survival frustrated. My personal search for “the truth” started and still continues, behind I leave the faiths that were irrelevant or nonsensical, including Christianity, Islam, Buddhist, Hindu, Jehovah witness, Scientology, and spiritualism. I came, I saw, I rejected.
Like you I am trying to get on with life and leave the potatoes behind.
I had come to terms with loosing Hilary and you. I can come to terms with the fact that you are not part of my life. I do have a new life. New families, new grandchildren and no unresolved baggage. My friends know me for what I am not what they have heard. It is not my fault that you strengthen an invented memory by continuous recollection and reminiscing with Jonathan and Pauline. I want nothing to do with that violent and abusive normality. I have not gone out of my way to destroy Pauline, Jonathan, You or Hilary, I am just grateful to survive the ordeal. I have no intention of letting them or you destroy the rest of my life. These past soul searching years of rejection are over. I can move on without you if need be. I can do the same as you, write impersonal chatty letters of trivia as if nothing has happened, and retain my safe distance. As we travel the road of life we are shaped by the passage. I am more resilient since my marriage to Shirley, and Pauline. The Damage done by Pauline has taken its toll but Sue, Sylvia, and Kathy have brought me round to a new morality. Your life as you say is with Pauline, thus we have little in common, and a different view of morality. Viv la difference I suppose.
Pax tecum
Dad
Hi Dad,
Not sure what to say to all this.
I am sorry you feel I have not apologised. I thought we covered all that when you visited those four or was it five years ago. I did not realise I had to do it again.
I am sorry I hurt you. That may have been my intent at the time (I freely admit that) – so I can be honest there, but it is not my intent now, and you’ll just have to take my word for it. I was 17 when I left home, 18 when I witnessed in the court room and met you face to face in Aberdeen . I was a child or at least a pubescent adolescent just on the road to adult hood and am not particularly proud of myself or my behaviour at that time.
However – I am 15 years older and wiser now. (I hope). I would hope you don’t need a character reference. If you do I have plenty of people who could give me one!
I am concerned that you feel people are out to kill you. And I don’t really expect you to believe me when I say they aren’t – but I’ll say it anyway. No one wants to kill you. No one is THAT bothered if you want the honest truth! It was 15 years ago and everyone has moved on. The only thing I can suggest is that you speak to someone else – perhaps a local counsellor to talk through your trauma? Or at least discuss with someone how you feel. I might not be the right person to talk to as I have such different views to you, and if you really think someone is trying to kill you, then I suggest you go to the police.
As to talking on the phone – you have my number, but if you have lost it I can always give you it again – you can do something to protect your number so I can’t find out the number of who it was who rang if you really want to talk.
Much love and concerns.
jo
Dear Jo.
I will try to answer your concerns as you raise them. I am sorry you believe I do not care about you I have never rejected you that is why all your actions hurt so much and caused so much stress for many years.
I am not indifferent to you, but love you very much despite you actions and contacts.
I tried to address your constant thread of moving on. To move on you need some form of closure to the old problems. Without contact with you I had moved on, found a new life, new friends and relations. Contact with you brings me back to my old life the only bit we have in common. Not the whole of my old life just the distressing bit from 88 and its effects on my present situation the only bit you seem to be aware of. Skirting over the major subject and failure to see the elephant in the room with casual conversation only delays the eventual facing of the problem. A new relationship for me is father and daughter not Morris dancers occasionally facing each other and other times rattling bells or crossing sticks. I have missed so much of your life you are almost a stranger. For strangers to get to know each other they have to talk not just of the day but of future dreams, fears, regrets, and achievements.
I freely admit that you have hurt me so much you could never or will ever experience. Years of grinding teeth at night and racing heart by day. Constantly thinking of you and Hilary, like bereavement but more vindictive and destructive. I could have handled your death better; it is difficult not to think of you entire with the good and the bad. In bereavement you try to retain all that is good and times of happiness. In divorce you take all that was good and destroy it in your mind only concentrating on the bad and hurtful so you can dismiss any longing. By either method you can move on have some form of closure. What I have been subject to is a melding of both remembering the hurtful equally with the loving. That is no way to move on.
Most of my actions since 94 have been defensive. I have been subject to one attempt to kill me by Pauline and survived. Do I believe she will try again, Probably. Will she get some one else to do it most likely? The chicken man is evidence of that.
Jonathan has a police caution for intimidation and murder threats against me. Do I believe he would do it, Probably not, do I think he will get some one else to do it, certainly. He did the same to Dorothee.
So while you are in contact with real threats to my life I have to be cautious. When a man-eating tiger is sleeping you would be foolish to lay beside it, Idiotic to wake it. Pauline is your adopted mother to me she is a real threat. It is obvious to those that have crossed her she has a dangerous personality disorder, and a mental illness. Only on Orkney with strong belief in forces of good and evil are her problems overlooked. If she ventured to the mainland she may find herself spending considerable time in a secure unit. This does not make her implausible, any one wishing to think the best of her can easily be fooled. Under her guidance and behest you have committed grievous wrongs. Your willingness to believe all she says even though it contradicts know logic is disturbing. The cause of your desire to adopt her as a role model needs to be addressed with your therapist.
I have many regrets, the main one was not taking you and Hilary with me when I first escaped the violence of Doehouse in 93. The speed in which I escaped was undignified I should have taken you with me and made some provision for your safety. However I did suspect that by then you would not of gone without a scene, Hilary I am sure would have packed her bags and left at that time.
I do not know why you were so willing to believe her and gloss over her inadequacies and failures willing to believe anything without question. I am still stunned that you never questioned anything she said or even asked me what happened. I suppose it is all a part of the belief system that she set up.
The irony is that if Pauline admitted that due to hormones or what ever she acted in such a violent and foul manner that it put her marriage in danger, she would still get the sympathy and respect from her companions. I would still be stuck with the stigma of deserting her and her accusations would still not be questioned. I have admitted I am not a mental health nurse, do not know how to deal with unprovoked violence and continuous mind games. Running out was obviously not in the best interest of any one, but it was the only thing I could do. Once escaped I have been pursued mercilessly and attacked on every front, the family, work, financial, and prospects.
To you Pauline is some kind of mother earth that you feel needs some support. To me she is the source of all my difficulties. You have a greater trust of her than I do. Although I have suffered much from her I have never retaliated. I know where she is, some of what she has said but have done nothing to harm her, which can not be said the same for her.
Pauline deliberately set about to destroy our family, disrupt communications between you and your natural grandparents and mother, of which you have tried to repair. I can not see why you willingly take your own family into that same disastrous environment. You have had the lessons of history to ignore.
You obviously see yourself as a loving daughter to Pauline and she in return is only concerned for your welfare. I see her as using you as a conduit for her scorn.
YOU HAVE NEVER APOLOGISED FOR ANYTHING, EVER!!!
You have suggested that we forget the past and move on constantly.
Could this be a hint of conscience on your behalf? If so it very welcome. If this is your apology for everything it is welcome and I freely forgive you all that you have done.
I do not expect or want you to give up your religion if it is of some comfort to you. I do not expect you to try and convert me to something that I gave up years before you were born.
Communication is a wonderful thing, telling some one of your good news, but to the recipient can seem oppressive or intolerant. Some of your correspondence was so infuriating and hurtful that I either blasted off or just cut you out trying to forget all about you. Many of the misconceptions could be overcome by talking face to face or even talking on the phone. However the phone has been a source of the most distressing intimidation that letting my number get into the wrong hands does not bear thinking about. In hiding trying to conduct a normal life is not easy, I do not subject myself to anonymity for fun, it is for necessity and my personal safety. Your contact with Pauline and Jonathan is a real problem. I have no idea of how to resolve that issue.
All my love
Dad
I will try to answer your concerns as you raise them. I am sorry you believe I do not care about you I have never rejected you that is why all your actions hurt so much and caused so much stress for many years.
I am not indifferent to you, but love you very much despite you actions and contacts.
I tried to address your constant thread of moving on. To move on you need some form of closure to the old problems. Without contact with you I had moved on, found a new life, new friends and relations. Contact with you brings me back to my old life the only bit we have in common. Not the whole of my old life just the distressing bit from 88 and its effects on my present situation the only bit you seem to be aware of. Skirting over the major subject and failure to see the elephant in the room with casual conversation only delays the eventual facing of the problem. A new relationship for me is father and daughter not Morris dancers occasionally facing each other and other times rattling bells or crossing sticks. I have missed so much of your life you are almost a stranger. For strangers to get to know each other they have to talk not just of the day but of future dreams, fears, regrets, and achievements.
I freely admit that you have hurt me so much you could never or will ever experience. Years of grinding teeth at night and racing heart by day. Constantly thinking of you and Hilary, like bereavement but more vindictive and destructive. I could have handled your death better; it is difficult not to think of you entire with the good and the bad. In bereavement you try to retain all that is good and times of happiness. In divorce you take all that was good and destroy it in your mind only concentrating on the bad and hurtful so you can dismiss any longing. By either method you can move on have some form of closure. What I have been subject to is a melding of both remembering the hurtful equally with the loving. That is no way to move on.
Most of my actions since 94 have been defensive. I have been subject to one attempt to kill me by Pauline and survived. Do I believe she will try again, Probably. Will she get some one else to do it most likely? The chicken man is evidence of that.
Jonathan has a police caution for intimidation and murder threats against me. Do I believe he would do it, Probably not, do I think he will get some one else to do it, certainly. He did the same to Dorothee.
So while you are in contact with real threats to my life I have to be cautious. When a man-eating tiger is sleeping you would be foolish to lay beside it, Idiotic to wake it. Pauline is your adopted mother to me she is a real threat. It is obvious to those that have crossed her she has a dangerous personality disorder, and a mental illness. Only on Orkney with strong belief in forces of good and evil are her problems overlooked. If she ventured to the mainland she may find herself spending considerable time in a secure unit. This does not make her implausible, any one wishing to think the best of her can easily be fooled. Under her guidance and behest you have committed grievous wrongs. Your willingness to believe all she says even though it contradicts know logic is disturbing. The cause of your desire to adopt her as a role model needs to be addressed with your therapist.
I have many regrets, the main one was not taking you and Hilary with me when I first escaped the violence of Doehouse in 93. The speed in which I escaped was undignified I should have taken you with me and made some provision for your safety. However I did suspect that by then you would not of gone without a scene, Hilary I am sure would have packed her bags and left at that time.
I do not know why you were so willing to believe her and gloss over her inadequacies and failures willing to believe anything without question. I am still stunned that you never questioned anything she said or even asked me what happened. I suppose it is all a part of the belief system that she set up.
The irony is that if Pauline admitted that due to hormones or what ever she acted in such a violent and foul manner that it put her marriage in danger, she would still get the sympathy and respect from her companions. I would still be stuck with the stigma of deserting her and her accusations would still not be questioned. I have admitted I am not a mental health nurse, do not know how to deal with unprovoked violence and continuous mind games. Running out was obviously not in the best interest of any one, but it was the only thing I could do. Once escaped I have been pursued mercilessly and attacked on every front, the family, work, financial, and prospects.
To you Pauline is some kind of mother earth that you feel needs some support. To me she is the source of all my difficulties. You have a greater trust of her than I do. Although I have suffered much from her I have never retaliated. I know where she is, some of what she has said but have done nothing to harm her, which can not be said the same for her.
Pauline deliberately set about to destroy our family, disrupt communications between you and your natural grandparents and mother, of which you have tried to repair. I can not see why you willingly take your own family into that same disastrous environment. You have had the lessons of history to ignore.
You obviously see yourself as a loving daughter to Pauline and she in return is only concerned for your welfare. I see her as using you as a conduit for her scorn.
YOU HAVE NEVER APOLOGISED FOR ANYTHING, EVER!!!
You have suggested that we forget the past and move on constantly.
Could this be a hint of conscience on your behalf? If so it very welcome. If this is your apology for everything it is welcome and I freely forgive you all that you have done.
I do not expect or want you to give up your religion if it is of some comfort to you. I do not expect you to try and convert me to something that I gave up years before you were born.
Communication is a wonderful thing, telling some one of your good news, but to the recipient can seem oppressive or intolerant. Some of your correspondence was so infuriating and hurtful that I either blasted off or just cut you out trying to forget all about you. Many of the misconceptions could be overcome by talking face to face or even talking on the phone. However the phone has been a source of the most distressing intimidation that letting my number get into the wrong hands does not bear thinking about. In hiding trying to conduct a normal life is not easy, I do not subject myself to anonymity for fun, it is for necessity and my personal safety. Your contact with Pauline and Jonathan is a real problem. I have no idea of how to resolve that issue.
All my love
Dad
Dear Jo
I assumed that your all actions and behaviour was influenced by Pauline, and tried to avoid hearing your testament in court and trying to avoid doing anything that may ultimately adversely effect you. I believed for years that you were the phantom biblical passage messenger. That form of insult missed the mark, as I did not possess a bible so could not reconstruct the insults listed in whatever chapter and verse. I could understand the Shakespearean insults. I received about one a week for over six years starting when I left Orkney. That form of correspondence ceased when you started to write to me. I naturally made the connection. Your actions and attitude bear no resemblance to the principals and acceptable behaviour I tried to instil in you when I was a single parent. You do not seem to have adopted any of the ethics I had hoped you would adopt. You are the product of the Martel child rearing, alas. Hopefully with wisdom of time you may remember some of the humanity, and morality of your distant past.
You will have to put up with my mild paranoia, I assure you it is about the average for battered wives in shelters and refuges. Surprisingly Pauline’s previous husband seems to suffer paranoia it must be contagious! I assure you that apart from contact with any one touched by Pauline I am normal. Being ex-directory is a bit of an imbuggerance but seems to have worked since 97 when I left Scotland. The telephone abuse seemed to just peter out. Mr Satan’s spawn as he was know and angry Miss Harlot that plagued Sue seemed harmless but annoying at first but over the years became more sinister and disturbing. Because Mr Satan’s Spawn operated at night I even taped all the phones at the Coastguard Station even believing it could have been one of my staff, Ho Hum. The police were involved on Orkney And the Chicken man given an official police caution. The problem is that when Pauline fires some one up to action she has no responsibility for the subsequent activity. You can prosecute the one pointing the gun but not the one that supplied the gun and ammunition. At the time unless we caught some one in the act of committing a violent act we could not prosecute, you could not prosecute for planning but not attempting the action. Luckily under the terrorism acts you can now. This is a welcome law although as a liberal in principal I abhor the restriction of liberty.
I assume you still consider Pauline as your mother?
I assume you also visit her and her children frequently, having frequent contact?
You must be pleased to sit around the fire listening to tales about my generosity and charitable deeds in supporting all the children through their education. You must be deafened by the three cheers and for he’s a jolly good fellow for allowing Pauline to fulfil her agricultural wishes, and supporting her financially in her loss making. How they must cheer at my suffered loss of house value, furniture stock and implements of Doehouse so the family could have a steady start in life. I hope you Join in the hearty huzza’s and cries of joy for my good character so freely expressed.
I do have your telephone number and address if needed thank you.
Love Dad
I assumed that your all actions and behaviour was influenced by Pauline, and tried to avoid hearing your testament in court and trying to avoid doing anything that may ultimately adversely effect you. I believed for years that you were the phantom biblical passage messenger. That form of insult missed the mark, as I did not possess a bible so could not reconstruct the insults listed in whatever chapter and verse. I could understand the Shakespearean insults. I received about one a week for over six years starting when I left Orkney. That form of correspondence ceased when you started to write to me. I naturally made the connection. Your actions and attitude bear no resemblance to the principals and acceptable behaviour I tried to instil in you when I was a single parent. You do not seem to have adopted any of the ethics I had hoped you would adopt. You are the product of the Martel child rearing, alas. Hopefully with wisdom of time you may remember some of the humanity, and morality of your distant past.
You will have to put up with my mild paranoia, I assure you it is about the average for battered wives in shelters and refuges. Surprisingly Pauline’s previous husband seems to suffer paranoia it must be contagious! I assure you that apart from contact with any one touched by Pauline I am normal. Being ex-directory is a bit of an imbuggerance but seems to have worked since 97 when I left Scotland. The telephone abuse seemed to just peter out. Mr Satan’s spawn as he was know and angry Miss Harlot that plagued Sue seemed harmless but annoying at first but over the years became more sinister and disturbing. Because Mr Satan’s Spawn operated at night I even taped all the phones at the Coastguard Station even believing it could have been one of my staff, Ho Hum. The police were involved on Orkney And the Chicken man given an official police caution. The problem is that when Pauline fires some one up to action she has no responsibility for the subsequent activity. You can prosecute the one pointing the gun but not the one that supplied the gun and ammunition. At the time unless we caught some one in the act of committing a violent act we could not prosecute, you could not prosecute for planning but not attempting the action. Luckily under the terrorism acts you can now. This is a welcome law although as a liberal in principal I abhor the restriction of liberty.
I assume you still consider Pauline as your mother?
I assume you also visit her and her children frequently, having frequent contact?
You must be pleased to sit around the fire listening to tales about my generosity and charitable deeds in supporting all the children through their education. You must be deafened by the three cheers and for he’s a jolly good fellow for allowing Pauline to fulfil her agricultural wishes, and supporting her financially in her loss making. How they must cheer at my suffered loss of house value, furniture stock and implements of Doehouse so the family could have a steady start in life. I hope you Join in the hearty huzza’s and cries of joy for my good character so freely expressed.
I do have your telephone number and address if needed thank you.
Love Dad
Hi Dad.
All these things you talk of are news to me!
In terms of correspondence, you sent me three or four letters (I can’t remember) when I was in halls in Aberdeen and I never replied to any of them. I emailed you when I had your email address now and again, but as I have never possessed your real address I could never have written you any letters! If you might recall, all my cards went via the coastguard station at Christmas and other than send you a wedding photograph after we married, I have not sent you anything else. So as to who IS writing to you – I have no idea, but it isn’t (or wasn’t me). But, I’m sure you’ll believe what you want to believe and that is up to you I suppose. If you find it easier to believe that I am inhuman, immoral and corrupted, then I suppose that is your way of coping with it – but if you truly believed that – then why did you email me in the first place?
Obviously I would maintain in return that I am none of those things, but then if you think I am delusional – I would, wouldn’t I?
If you are happier maintaining that I am a lost cause and “dead to you” – then I suppose you are better off without me and that is your decision – if you want me to stop writing, you can always block my email address again.
However, I won’t be changing me email address or moving any time soon, so when you have accepted your paranoia for what it is, and can see me for what I am, then you know where to find me and can get back in touch.
If I can be so bold – I would suggest you speak to your doctor about the way you have been hurt through the divorce with Pauline and get some counselling. Lying in bed at night with a racing heart and gnashing teeth is not healthy and needs treating. Then again, perhaps your CFS medication needs reviewing?
With regrets that you feel we cannot have a relationship, and with continuing love.
jo
Dear |Jo
All these things may be new to you but you were told by me to stay out of it. You did not have to take sides. That way you could have maintained a foot in each camp, some dignity and credence. By batting for the side of the angels you have done yourself a disservice. But enough of that. You say you have changed and many will give you a good character reference. These are only valid if they are Muslim, Buddhist, or some thing other than your narrow band of Christians. Any fool can belong to a team do as the team do right or wrong, it takes courage to be a part of a team and criticise the actions taken and support those defiled by the group.Your mother is cock a hoop at a paper cutting of a mystery writing weekend that you were involved in. I am on the other hand distraught that you, part of my family has travelled so far down the five steps to tyranny and thinks that is not wrong.
Just to fill you in with the gory details of the unwelcome correspondence over the years. When Pauline left I had one letter from her, abuse and death threats from John and a visit by the chicken man. Later the police visited and warned me to be on the look out for that particular character.
Pauline arrived back on the island, found I had met Sue (the day before) and I was not willing to take her back. Then we had the physical attack on Sue by Pauline and Gowland, the legal action to get me out of the house, and our meeting in Aberdeen.
After intimidation by Pauline who just turned up at the house any time she felt like it and Jonathans threats to Peter and Jane next door, we decided to leave Doehouse (we legally had the right to remain living there as Pauline lost her case to throw me out).
South Waird was exdirectory but shortly after moving there The Spawn of Satan started to call. Angry Miss Harlot soon followed. Gowland worked at the Coastguard station, the ops room had to know my telephone number!
When we left Orkney the phone calls stopped. The letters and other things started to arrive at the Coastguard Station. By then I had sued for divorce and on my affidavit I noted the post code for the Coastguard Station was printed wrong. I informed my solicitor who told the sheriff to amend his copy. Pauline’s solicitor had a copy with the wrong postcode. All the abusive mail and unwanted post had the wrong post code on it. I do not think Drever and Heddle would be involved in any form of intimidation, and Pauline had a copy of my Affidavit. Maybe you could come to the same conclusion that we did about the origin of the abuse.
During my time at Forth we bought a house and moved from Kirkgate. Steve, who took over Kirkgate after we moved out said he passed on my address to a friend. We received a letter from Pauline about mail going missing between Orkney and Aberdeen on Christmas Eve, not the best of timing. At that time I was under massive stress with Aberdeen Bosses trying to get rid of me. Suffering bullying, discrimination and constructive dismissal at work I was about to resign and work for the council emergency planning department. The letter from Pauline prompted us to move with the Coastguard yet again.
By the year 2000 the intimidation stopped. I had received a few more terse letters sent to the Station at Amble and some very odd phone calls on the works phone, but by then it was over, or seemed to be. During that period I lost 4 back teeth.
I have been abuse free, moderately healthy (until recently) and having a good life with friends and family (except two). I consider myself a survivor, if not a little damaged by the experience. Knowing how bad it was, life is held on the whim of a few odd people that for now have other things to do.
As for our relationship, I suggest we just let it continue as is for a time. I am still hopeful of a more meaningful relationship at a later stage. I hope you realise that for me life has not been a bowl of cherries and I have had to make a new life for my self. Needs must. Hopefully you will also realise I am over cautious, and seem to suffer low level paranoia, however I can now mention Orkney without looking over my shoulder.
Love dad
Hi Dad,
Thanks for “filling me in” on the details in your life since we last me in Aberdeen and before we met in Grimsby . In the same period I have got married, been awarded a BSc in Occupational Therapy, got a job, been promoted twice, managed to specialise in stroke care, had two children and begun a career in writing. Our two lives have been very different from the point we lost contact with each other. Although you say our only common link is the past I would have to disagree as we both view our past very differently; which means there is no commonality there at all. Therefore I am not prepared to keep rehashing it as we will not agree.
Forgetting the past you say, it is like ignoring the elephant in the room, I would say instead it is about stepping around the elephant to see the person on the other side of it more clearly. Although it is perhaps one elephant, you see the left hand side and I see the right of it and none of us share the same perspective.
On the other hand, we both share a passion for writing, are both creative, have an interest in the natural world and science as well as a few other things in between.
On the writing side of it, I have another murder mystery at the hotel booked in July and another in October so am busy writing for those two commissions at present. I think I might have made the first over complicated – but we’ll see who gets the solution in the end. Two out of 200 solved the last one completely and 5 were half way there.
I’ve just put another script into the BBC, so we’ll see where that goes – probably another rejection… that’s what usually happens.
Magnus’s parents have both been to stay and now I am in the process of cleaning the house again ready for a dinner party on Saturday with the neighbours.
The weather has improved here – I expect it has for you too. So hopefully the kids will be happy playing the in the paddling pool for some of the afternoon and the dog won’t return lathered in mud from his walk!
I hope you are enjoying the spring weather.
Much love
jo
Dear Jo
Thanks for the mail
It was probably an oversight that you reminded me you got married! I remember that debacle quite well. The returned photographs prompted the royal mail to seek and destroy all of Orkney's mail.
The weather has improved, the goats are out browsing, poultry escaping and dog exhausted after chasing the lawnmower.
Working in the full glare of the exposed sun I was aware what a small benign shadow I cast on the ground. So unlike the sinister monster that stalked the walls of Doehouse. It maybe that in the dark recesses of the mind shadows are enlarged
I took Kathy to the Airport for a holiday with her sister and partner in Holland. So as not to waste the whole day in the departure lounges we visited the local garden centre to buy some fruit trees. I had to leave the green gage and russet trees behind at White Wings. I also bought a Laxton supurb, not seen since Pottingfield road. It was the juicy crisp eating apple in the chicken compound. So now I have to dig them in, after which I shall indulge in my evening meal of roast leg of first born child followed by some enjoyable wife beating.
Chin up and enjoy life, and always remember the lessons of the past “never let a good bruise go to waste”
Love Dad
Thanks for the mail
It was probably an oversight that you reminded me you got married! I remember that debacle quite well. The returned photographs prompted the royal mail to seek and destroy all of Orkney's mail.
The weather has improved, the goats are out browsing, poultry escaping and dog exhausted after chasing the lawnmower.
Working in the full glare of the exposed sun I was aware what a small benign shadow I cast on the ground. So unlike the sinister monster that stalked the walls of Doehouse. It maybe that in the dark recesses of the mind shadows are enlarged
I took Kathy to the Airport for a holiday with her sister and partner in Holland. So as not to waste the whole day in the departure lounges we visited the local garden centre to buy some fruit trees. I had to leave the green gage and russet trees behind at White Wings. I also bought a Laxton supurb, not seen since Pottingfield road. It was the juicy crisp eating apple in the chicken compound. So now I have to dig them in, after which I shall indulge in my evening meal of roast leg of first born child followed by some enjoyable wife beating.
Chin up and enjoy life, and always remember the lessons of the past “never let a good bruise go to waste”
Love Dad
HI Dad,
Weather here is stunning – so you are probably flooded with sunlight too. Spending more time outside with the kids and less in front of the computer. Unfortunately I still have 5 scripts to go…. Never mind. I’ll get them done soon enough. (If I don’t’ get distracted!!)
The gooseberry plant is still alive despite loosing it’s central stem and has gooseberries on it all ready, so I’ll wait and see how they develop this year.
I hope Kathy has a good time in Holland – certainly the weather should be good.
Don’t over do things in the sunshine
Much love
jo
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