Happy New year, and all the best to you and your family.
You are probably wondering why I am writing?
I understand you are to get a visit from your mother in 2017 as she has come into some money.
Be patient and understanding. She is not the same woman that cared for you until you were 4 or the same woman that loved you unreservedly.
In 1983 she took the fateful decision to succumb to her addiction and chose alcohol over the hard work of raising a family, a decision that brought her great pain. You have no memory of life before the age of 12. so you say. She was not a bad parent, she was a good wife and loving mother. She worked hard to support the family until it became too much. None of us like the way things have turned out, but I would never have swapped my nine years with Shirley or the five years as a single parent.
Now you are a parent you will understand exhaustion. Hopefully you have support. Raising a family is easier with two than trying to go it alone.
The door is always open for us to communicate, I have never stopped thinking about you no matter how hard I try. This time of the year is obviously difficult.
You will remain blocked from my websites, not because I do not wish you to know what I am doing but you had access to my social network and my life before and joined in the attempt to destroy it.
I have been told that the new addition to your family was heralded as a new addition to the other step relations. I do not wish or want to collect members of a family, I want you to be free. If that freedom means subjugation to a cult or creed, that is your choice.
Why, is the defining question that sets us apart from other animals. Many animals use tools and communicate, so evolutionary, animals understand what, how, and where. Why, is only asked by Homosapiens (spell checker doesn't like that word?). If you ask a question and given an answer, it is considered acceptable. To question the answer you are considered odd. We have differed in our approach to life. To the religious the answers are important and reassuring. To an atheist the right question is searched for and all answers questioned.
I will be 70 this year, and know I have not got much time left. Your grandmother lived till 89 but suffered badly from dementia for the last five years. I don't fancy that. Your grandfather died at 67, probably too early. Suffering from ME the heart muscle is weakened so I do not think I will live to a ripe old age.
If we do not communicate and your hatred is still overpowering, that is your choice, Freedom to choose. It is also a choice that you make to deprive your children with the knowledge of where you came from.
I have opened a blog page called letters from a broken family, and posted a few things on it. I have decided to put some events in the form of short stories. When I get time I will write some more. To pose questions and give some insight to what life has been like, when I die all letters will be published. That way people can ask questions not be given answers.
All your letters have been kept, as have the replies. It is noteworthy to say that all your letters contain threats, and abuse. Ho Hum
enjoy 2017, Make America great!
Love
Dad
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Jan 2
 | | ||
Happy New Year
I hope you have a great year, your email indicated you are worried about your mortality. Joanne did let me know you are ill sorry to hear that.
I am looking forward to seeing my mum, haven't seen her since I left the U.K. But I did spent some time with her and Terry reconnecting with them before I left. Also my Brother Christopher, I tried to keep in touch with him but it has been sporadic. I believe you keep in touch with him which is great that you have supported him and loved him all these years.
If you want to create some communication feel free to tell me what you are up too, try and let me know about your current life.
Me I am hoping to get a new job, something closer to home, back into management and with more money! What everyone in the world wants.
Jasmine is truly awesome, great kid- happy, great natured. I'm sure you know we brought a house. We have about 7 aces so I have a horse and a donkey. We have a few renevations to do, we spent the Christmas break painting kitchen cabinets.
Here are a couple of pictures of your grandchild.
| Jan 3 | | ||
Thanks for the email.
I have been pestered to start some form of dialogue, or at least open the door. It is not honourable to keep a door closed, and unforgivable not to allow some one the opportunity to make amends. You only get one chance to make peace and so many to start a war. I am far too principled and obdurate to be a diplomat, too tactless to be subtle. I blame the genes.
My mother said that when she was particularly distressed about my fathers action she complained to me. I said I could not listen to her, because although she was my mother, he was also my father. If she said anything unkind I had the right to tell him. If she wanted to talk about him, she should tell him first. I was 8 at the time. We clearly do not share the same amount of that particular gene.
My health has been bad since 2006 when I was infected with a virus.
Due to years of continual stress caused by the stalking and defamation of character, my immune system was compromised and I went down with Myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME)
The illness is so debilitating that you miss symptoms of other illnesses blaming everything on ME. The net result was a short stay in Hospital for an operation, which was not that successful. There is no cure for ME it has to be lived with, and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. However I am aware I will not make old bones. I put my affairs in order a few years ago when I bought the croft. Since 2006 I have made some improvement, but am frustrated by my lack of energy and constant pain.
With poor health, many turn to religion for support. That is never going to happen in my case. As an atheist, (born again) when I see another human suffering poverty and starvation I am concerned and guilt ridden. I am part of the cause of the suffering if I am not suffering myself. Not all the world is suffering the same and it is a crime that some are rich and others suffer because of it. It is my duty to assist my fellow man, for they are the same species. A religious person sees the suffering and says it is Gods will. They are rich because they believe in God, the others deserve to suffer for non belief, their task is to convert. That is why all religions are evil, and the first step to Tyranny. There is no God, and I rejoice in the fact that a malicious, cruel, and unjust creature does not exist.
Christopher is family, families stick together and help each other out. What would you expect! You are, and make the effort to imply, that you have another more deserving family, that demands your loyalty. Bully for you, but you could have chosen more wisely. I have stopped communicating with Shirley because she is linked to Pauline on social network sites. I can not trust her to remain alert if questioned about me. I always enquire how she is coping.
Do you need to go back to work so soon? There is nothing more rewarding than child care, nothing more memorable, even if the child can not remember a single thing of your life together. Looking after and loving a child gives you enough memories for two. Money is of course useful, but is not the most wanted thing in the world. The most valuable thing you can't buy, and we all search for it, some even know when they have it.
I would be good to see Jasmine, however I have only been to two countries that have made me feel uneasy. One was apartheid South Africa, and the other the numerous ports I visited in the United States. I am told Oregon is not the same as Galveston. ho hum.
I attended a slow food movement to explain the virtue of goats milk. I took along a few kids to display and hopefully sell. I did a demonstration on how to make paupers cheese and had a selection of cheeses for people to try. I was convinced I could persuade some one to buy a goat, but in the end Kathy was persuade that we should start a micro dairy. Our neighbour came out of pigs, so we hire the byre and extra land needed. I am not going to expand more than 20 milking goats, Honest!
I hope with your land you will be able to get two Anglo Numbian goats. I hope your eczema is in check, you never had it on goats milk?
The other passion I have is bees. I was wiped out a few years ago and am slowly rebuilding my colonies. Humans are so stupid. I have given up trying to rescue them, and now concentrate on saving insects. They are much more deserving.
Your great grandfather Huibregt Klapwijk raised a family of 12 during the war on 12 acres. He would be spinning in his grave if he thought you had not planted a fruit tree. At the end of his life after years of conventional growing he developed a method of companion planting. When I saw it I thought he had flipped, but his yields were high and benefited the environment not damage it. I so regret not take notes or talked to him more about his land management. They do not make land anymore, improve and conserve that valuable asset.
Love dad
ps I was sent this photo they thought it was a boy so I was confused now I know who it is
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