fresh start 2

Wake up with a start and what a surprise

The bedding is bone dry I feel as I rise

Head for the toilet run as fast as I can

Is the new life a fresh start or am I a man




From wearing shoes my feet are still throbbing

The blisters and raw skin with fibres rubbing

Do I go for breakfast of stay in my room?

I don’t want to be late or even too soon




What would you like for breakfast she asked?

I look blank thinking is this such a task

I normally have porridge with big lumps in

Sweetened with syrup from a five gallon tin




I need to get out, need to explore where I am

To find my way back I must make a route plan

The green door with glass a step from the road

Cracked tile on the step in shape of a toad




I walk the streets with gardens barren of trees

Hedges, coloured bushes and flowers to please

No place to play no spaces gone wild

Fine for the adults boring for a child




Three big boys walking coming my way

Where is your house the biggest did say?

Over there the end of the road

Cracked tile on the step in shape of a toad




This is our street we say who plays here

House number said the one with small ears

We never seen you down this road before

We don’t believe you live here any more




One in the front and one at each side

Look for a corner for my back to hide

Back to the hedge no where to run

Sweating when thinking of what will be done




I punch out, kick, scratch, bite, poke in the eye

I hit them all first so they can’t reply

Lash out at each one in their turn

Ensure they can’t hold me is what I learn




I don’t know about fighting how does it stop?

For me when I stop screaming or they give up

I punch them and kick them to keep them down

A parent has grabbed pulled me to the ground







Dragged to the house and the end of the road

Cracked tile on the step in shape of a toad

Voices are raised complaints by the tome

Just you wait till your father comes home




He comes home they talk in the hall

Enters the room angry punches and fall

The punches and blows keep reigning low

Stop when the blood from the nose do flow




Freezing cold water fills up the bath

Thrust in and under water until I gasp

Pulled out dry yourself and off to bed

Lie on my back hands under my head




Wake up with a start I’m feeling damp

Off to the toilet quickly I tramp

Strip off the bedding its only the sheets

Wrapped in the blanket the chair I do creep




Slumped in the chair wait for the day

Get to my knees and begin to pray

Lord you bastard I’m only a lad

It wasn’t my fault I was born bad