Jo
Your book arrived and I have read the first chapter.
I have to say I was very disappointed by it.
Please accept the following criticism as constructive.
1 To write as the first person is the most challenging way to write. You can not be a neutral narrator. Writing is about character and as the first person narrative the character must come out in the writing. As a first person narrative you have the opportunity to express your thinking and ideas not available as a third person narrator. I advise you to read other novels that succeed in this method. I would strongly advise you to read some Ian Rankin or better still Eric Ambler to see how this method can be fully developed.
2 The lack of a hook. You must engage with the reader as quickly as possible and keep the interest going. The first line is crucial. (I followed Irene up the path,) I would not have started there! Some suggestions
Most people followed Irene out of Idle curiosity, breaking into a police crime scene was not idle curiosity. Etc. If you are introducing Irene early on it must be more descriptive and personal. Bring out your character as well as that of Irene. Always show rather than tell the character.
3 Too many cliché's nervous tension tugging at the hairs etc sweaty palms, tingling, tight muscles. Neck ache. Hunched shoulders describe the physical experience not nervous tension. Nervous tension happens to others you have to describe what is happening to you as the narrator.
4 Off plot trivia (my mind wondering back to Lucus etc). not relevant to the plot. The daughter has no effect to constrain the narrator and the husband being a couch potato is not relevant unless the narrator is resentful of his inactivity and lack of life sparkle.
Cut the flowery crap, include only that which is personal to the plot or character.
Animals of the night are not important unless they create fear or loathing. You may as well have marshmallows play Bach for all the atmosphere they impart.
5 Show not tell. A bit of an amateur sleuth, Why? A disgruntled ex police officer. A Greenham camp protestor frustrated with police inefficiency is plausible.
I could go on infinitum, but suffice to say I am curious how it became published? Vanity publishing is not worthy of you.
What next
go to a creative writing course or group, get some expert advice. Or start a university course even open university if you really want to write. This book shows a lack of drive, has nothing to say, and you can do better.
So stop advertising this novel it is not a good one, and may cause embarrassment if you do eventually succeed as a writer
find a trusted critic. You clearly are surrounded by sycophants that do not want to upset you. Get someone that wants you to succeed as a writer, not someone that wants to be liked. Send them the first chapter to chew over before you get too committed and unable to make changes.
I Want you to be successful as a writer and a person, it is not in your interest to be flattered and falsely praised.
Sorry about that
Love dad
Hi Dad
Thanks for the constructive criticism.
It’s not my best work – but it is the book Endeavour press wanted to publish. I hate it personally, I’ve written much better, but the hook with Endeavour was the murder mystery angle and the fact it’s an unusual duo – there’s a shortage of female characters in those age brackets – so it fits a niche.
Most books get published not because they’re any good, but because they’re in a particular “slot”. It’s not a vanity publisher. I’ve not paid anything to them. There’s loads of books out there that are equally rubbish, so mine isn’t alone in that regard.
It’s also not written for MEN – so you are the wrong target audience, so a man would loath this book. So actually I’m not surprised you hate it. You aren’t the target reader.
I have not only been on creative writing courses – I’m now running one annually for others. I’ve also had it checked by an editor who picked up much the same comments as you – and they printed the redraft which toned down much of the bits you’ve marked out – actually this is a drastic reduction.
First person wasn’t an easy narrative. My next book is in a mix of 3rd and 1stperson and very very different to this one. But I’ve been asked to write a sequel for this book – so that’s on the cards after I’ve finished the distraction with my second (which is actually my 6th book).
If you want to read badly written murder mystery books – Agatha Raisin is appalling – and that author churns out 2-3 a year. So it’s not just about the story telling and prose, it’s about the niche market.
But never fear – I’ve learned a lot from writing this one. The next one will be better. J
Warmest regards
Jo
Jo
I joined a creative writing group whilst a Coastie looking for something to do in retirement. Luckily it was headed by John Cartmel Crossley an Artist and sculpture that dabbled in pottery. He did a Masters degree in creative writing, and although terminally ill tried to set up a group to encourage writing. Here are a few bits of his advice which I took note of.
It takes just as much time and effort to write a page of crap as it does a masterpiece
a writers group will contain a gifted and accomplished author it is our job to encourage and nurture that talent in all members as no one will know who it is.
We are post Hemmingway, flowery phrases and padding out is a thing of the past. Don't write a long sentence when a four word statement will do.
Punctuate punctuate and punctuate.
Write as you feel get it all down. Once written it can be cut. Never leave anything in that is not supported by past or relevant to the future. You will find that two thirds of what is written can be cut out.
Don't Write for the genre all writing covers many of them.
A good author is one you like to read. Not one that is well acclaimed.
With the last bit in mind, your writing will reflect who you read, and all reading is instructional. For the first person Narrative (not a narrative style I like) a good read is Graham Greene, the end of the affair (one of my all time favourites) and travels with my Aunt. (an absolute hoot). Neville Shute is a brilliant easy to read writer, Round the bend a classic first person Narrative. I can not emphasise Eric Ambler too much his books are hard to find as he and Francis Clifford have fallen out of favour although their style and easy flow of writing is brilliant. One can not exclude Morris West and I would have thought he would have been in your library especially the trilogy, Shoes of the fisherman, Lazarus, and clowns of God. Yes he is a religious writer but so good. The Devils advocate is brilliant. Lastly on easy to read writers no list is complete without John Harris but I would not expect you to read much of his work as they deal with war and boys things.
Kathy hates Sebastian Faulks and we both dislike Melvyn Bragg. Both write to show how smart they are and how many big words they can use. They do not seem to have cut anything out, and their verbosity hinders the story not informs it.
One last thing John Cartmel Crossley said was if you can go to university for a Masters degree, the degree is useless the people you have met priceless.
The next book being first and third person narrative sounds dangerous and must involve lots of past and present flipping. I find I get confused and never know what words to use writing past tense in the present. Good luck with that one!
Second book actually the sixth sounds very Star wars.
Last bit of advice get some one critical to proof read. I use Kathy, and after a mauling,(yes it does upset, and takes a few days to calm down) I pay heed to the audience. Then I send it to Jacquie for another mauling, after which Jenny Finch (the Author of the elver man etc) gives it the final death blow. The feed back is priceless and they also punctuate it properly.
finally
I also wish so much that things could be better between us, however it is in your court. I have never set about to damage your life or make things difficult for you. I have not interfered with your life. Yes I am disgusted but not vindictive in any way. For me the problem is quite simple and I would have thought your religion would have helped.
Every one sins, Normally within religion you are expected to acknowledge your transgression (confessional) Change, stop committing that sin, atonement for damage done, then forgiveness and move on with life.
In your case, the lies got out of hand and destroyed my career. You do not acknowledge your sin and justify it as the means to and end. When I tried to warn you off justifying lying, you go global with the benefits of lying as a creative influence. The people you lied for (the Martel's) you are in close contact with. The person that loves you unreservedly, changed your nappies wiped your tears fed and nurtured , you reject and try to destroy. In the sins progress you still have not taken the first step of acknowledging you have committed a sin.
The lies said can not be unsaid, the genie can not be put back in the bottle. But I would have thought that the people that encouraged you to sin in the first place would be avoided. Something you clearly have no intention of doing. Thus we are, as we are. I will not harm you, and every piece of advice given, is so soundly, and arrogantly rejected. It is, and always has been in your court, to do what is right, or to comply to the will of the mob.
Love Dad
Hi Dad
Don’t worry – I’m not writing a Star Wars Saga! (Even if they DO sell well!)
I only meant, I’ve been writing for YEARS and my first published book is actually my 4th full novel that I’ve pitched to agents (Which just goes to show how bad the other ones were…!!)
The 1st/3rd person narrative novel is a sci-fi time travel, so it makes sense to change the narrative perspective. My preferred writing is sci-fi – but I’m best known for the murder mysteries which is why I wrote the book they’ve taken. I’m not expecting to get rich from it, and truth be told it was more a publicity exercise for the business, but a lot of people like the book and the publisher has asked me to write a sequel – which I need to get the motivation for. By the 6thredraft I was getting thoroughly bored with both the characters and the book…
It seems the female readers have enjoyed it, and that’s the target market. (Me personally – I wouldn’t naturally pick up my own book as it’s not my preferred reading format – I still prefer sci-fi, but have enjoyed some chick-lit / thriller writers too).
I love the notes – and he’s right – as a creative writing mentor I have seen some total pages of crap in my time – and it’s very difficult to give positive constructive criticism when it is utter bollocks – but it’s easier on the authors to take it an area at a time. And I’m the worst at not “practising what I preach”.
Sadly I don’t have time for a masters in creative writing – but most novelists don’t have that either – so I’m not alone there. What you need is the ability to tell a story and for many people actually getting to the last page is the first hurdle. Most fail after 3-4 chapters.
I would also add to your notes “Don’t fall in love with a sentence/paragraph - if you do that’s often the one that needs to be cut.”
You wouldn’t believe how much I edit out of my work day to day. And that loved paragraph is always the last to face the chop.
I read for the Crime Writers Association’s annual novel writing competition – there truly are some fantastic unpublished writers out there (and some total dross too) but so many people don’t get into print – it’s a fickle market driven by market demand not by how good an author is. I think I just landed lucky this time with my book – as I approached writing it the way I approach writing games – I looked at the market, saw where the gap was – and wrote to that.
Sherlock Holmes is one of my favourite detectives – and AC Doyle narrates his in first person from watson’s perspective – so that’s what I based Irene and Ruth on. Irene being Sherlock and Ruth – Watson. The problem with detective fiction set in modern times is that you need to find a way not to involve the police or it all gets too forensic, and I wanted something that felt more “golden age”. It was really difficult to do it without the police information – so the next book will involve Irene’s son in law more often to provide the police inside-knowledge. At least… that’s the plan…
I’ve already sketched out the plot but my sci-fi one is just burning to get written – so I’m going to finish that first. And then start on book 2 of the Franks and Sinclair series.
Warmest regards
Jo
Jo
A good book in first and third person narrative is Julian by Gore Vidal. It deals with the last pagan emperor of Rome. I know you haven't read it, but it was destroyed in Doehouse, by somebody that took offence to any mention of Pagan, in a so called Christian house. I bought the book again to try and see what was offensive. It is very well written with three narrators past and present tense. If it wasn't for the subject matter it would be in every school. Destroying books, works of art, and antiquities is now a crime against humanity, leveled at ISIS. Early Christians did exactly the same as did the protestants. It was only the Muslims in the golden era that saved science and the writings of ancient world. How little we have learned from the past. I would recommend Julian be read as an instructional tool but that would offend you.
reading sadly is in decline with twitter, the font of knowledge, and US foreign policy. Short sentences and paragraphs used by Hemingway is standard practice. No one uses long passages or over description now. The audience has a very short attention span.
One note I forgot in the list, was make the reader work! Do not reveal too much, drip feed the character into the plot little by little. Gone are the descriptive passages of Somerset Maugham to be replaced by, show not tell, snippets. The twitter generation seem to thrive on pared down trivia. Luckily you are closer to that generation than I.
The greatest change to reading will come from the social network sites. Now libraries are closing, and newspapers dumbing down. When in Rye I would wake early and take the dogs out. On return make a coffee (strong) and spend “me” time, with my back against the radiator and read the newspaper ( the Guardian) before waking the household and making breakfast. It became a routine, and a habit I found difficult to break. No fresh newspapers in Orkney helped.
In Rye we went to the library weekly. If we had a book we didn't like, we just swapped it. It cost nothing, and allowed you to delve into a topic /genre you would not normally like, and experiment with reading. The books were ranged in genre format, so an Author of Sci Fi could also write a novel on romance, crime, etc. Conan Doyle wrote non fiction and exploits of brigadier Gerard, today he would be listed in a book shop by author. The Holmes stories could be lost in his other writings.
When I was at sea, reading was more than a pastime. The ship had a library and the indication of a good read was the state of the cover. So frequently did I start a good book and find the last page missing. One book that was a joy to read had no cover. It was years later I found out it was called “light cavalry action” by John Harris. Obviously Harold Robbins books went down well as did Lolitta and other risqué books. Wilbur Smith was popular, and we were invited to meet the author in Cape Town, after he wrote Sunbird. I had a signed first edition copy, (were that went I have no idea). He was an interesting person not what we had expected, and yes, a bit larger than life. After the Sunbird I went off him, as he was too predictable. Same as Aleister McClean. Bear Island was the last straw.
The ships library introduced me to Robert Ruark (Something of Value) a great read, and Robert Graves. Sometimes a person with vision stocked the library to improve the reader, otherwise we would be landed with westerns. Charity shops crammed with Danielle Steele, Jeffry Archer, Jilly Cooper and Jackie Collins will do nothing to develop mankind.
What Cartmel Crossley found most rewarding about university was the contacts, some we saw. We had a talk by a playwright and encouraged to write a play (hence the incident). One guest talked about writing intros. She made a living by finding a topic close to what was being considered and getting paid not to write. For example she would have a vague idea for a soap (TV producers get loads of soap ideas) she would write an intro. The TV company realising her work was close to a current plot would buy the work outright for £500 to bury it. She said she made quite a good living with wild ideas. £500 for a sheet of A4 is a good wage, and she produced 2 a day. There is a sting in the tail as she was in panic mode having two ideas that needed a first draft, a few needing a fist chapter and one needing a complete episode. Your sins catch you out, was the moral we took from that.
We also had two founders of small presses trying to drum up writers. I meant to send stuff to them (Pagger). (Oriane a French Student stayed with us for three weeks last year, and heard the odd “bugger” when things went wrong. She thought I was saying Pagger, I do now!)
I love to write short stories (all I have time for now), and Love Somerset Maugham. With the short attention span of our children, surely that is the future. I tried Amazon and tried to pitch the cost as low as possible, with the smallest commission. That didn't work as you have to promote yourself. I can not afford to do that, it is too dangerous.
Love
Dad
Yes, it’s not about the quality of the prose any more, it’s all about the promotion – I think this is why I got a publisher, as they know I’m able to promote it.
I won’t make a million any time soon that’s for sure, but it’s been a long known adage that writing doesn’t pay!
Warmest regards
Jo
Jo
with the lack of libraries publishers are reliant on us the public owning their own. The thought that poor people will own books, that they want to keep, was a novel idea, and after the war, quite novel. With shortage of food and fuel, books were burnt for heat!
My parents never had books in the house other than a dictionary, the bible, and an atlas. I can never remember either parent reading to me, reading aloud, or reading for enjoyment. They read the daily express and the people on Sunday. One could say I was brought up in a conservative family. They bought me comics until I was 10 (too old for childish stuff). Comics were thought to be anti reading as they had pictures, pictures were a distraction, writing had to be instructional, therefore boring.
In Stowlangtoft Hall where I was deposited by London Council children's service, they had few books. Initially the home was run by Nuns. Nuns are not allowed to touch men, or children unless administering punishment. The word of God was law and had to be beaten into the young. These heartless Harpies considered duty and obedience was more important than love or compassion. The hair shirt was salvation, endure to be redeemed. The children did the enduring bit. The only books available was the bible and the book of prayer, what more can anyone need? Being foreign and responsible for the death and destruction of cities,( I was born in Germany, therefore NAZI and personally killed the parents of the children in the home.) Being younger than the rest of the children and not capable of committing crimes before I was born, was irrelevant. Never let facts get in the way of a good story or convenient scapegoat. Everyday you were punished but luckily punishment had a scale. As love empathy and compassion were absent, discipline could be structured. The more severe the crime the greater the punishment. Petty crime could be punished and administer at will. More serious the crime the greater the process of humiliation. Public beating is clinical emotionless and humiliating. Nothing better to instill fear of sin than a child screaming.
It is no wonder that children that have been abused through the care system, are rebellious and internalise emotions. Being congenitally incapable of obeying orders was not passed on by the genes.
When I did eventually get released from Stowlangtoft hall and placed in the custody of my parents I was eternally grateful. My parents were a dysfunctional pair, showed little affection, but in their way, proud of the way I turned out. When I eventually went to school at 8 I could neither read nor write. I was aware of huge black holes of assumed knowledge I did not possess. The children I now mixed with had loving and caring parents, they did things together and were smothered in encouragement. Where I was left to get on with it. The black holes of implied knowledge ranged from everything from Nursery Rhymes, bedtime stories, fairy stories and myths. If I said Cinderella most people would know the story, so if some one said Cinderella's slipper, I had know idea what that meant, and too embarrassed to confess, I had no knowledge. This is why I read to you at bedtime every opportunity I could get. We did all the fairy stories, Arthur and the round table, Robin Hood, Arabian Knights and Greek Mythology, so you would start life equal not odd.
Bedtime stories not only made you equal to other children it was to encourage you to read, showing that joy can be had from books. This among other reasons is why I send Books to the grandchildren. In time I hope they will have a library of recommended books that all children should have read. Some books sent may not be to your liking or deemed subversive. The children may not like them or not interested in reading them at present, but one day, some one will mention something contained in, or about a book, they will have in their possession, to find out. Believe me, not all you need to know can be found in the book of common prayer and the bible.
love
Dad
Hi Dad
Well, I still love reading, so clearly you did something right!
Tristan and Iona both say thank you for the books and the money. Tristan thinks the Catcher in the Rye looks like an interesting read. It’s one I’ve always wanted to read too – so I may steal it for a while. J
Magnus and I were trying to work out what was enough to count you in as “a female who changed the world”. He thought Jackie Collins should have been in, and I said Dr Barrett-Browning and Lydia Pinkham were obvious missing persons too – but perhaps Osbourne didn’t want to count those for some reason.
We were at Bodium just on Saturday. We popped down quickly to see mum. Tristan loves the fish still. And I still find the castle impressive. It was Magnus’s first time seeing the castle, the kids 2nd time. The fish are STILL BIG it seems regardless of how old you become. J It was just a shame the weather wasn’t any better.
We’re hoping to pop down and see the H. observatory (I won’t try to spell that) another time. Rye hasn’t changed much, but there’s lots of new housing estates all around it.
Iona is now camera shy and won’t pose in front of the lens except at very unusual times. So it’s really hard to get a photo of them together.
Warmest regards
Jo
Jo
the observatory is Herstmonceux (Hurs-men-zoo) was the royal observatory which moved from Greenwich in the 70's and then moved to Cambridge in the 90's. Why I have no idea, probably cost!
I did a talk to the WI at Herstmonceux in 83/84 and saw the site. You could not visit it, but could park near the grounds, and visit the garden (free). Our visit was a disaster! The idea was to visit Lewes to watch a re-enactment of the battle of Lewes by the sealed Knot. The battle was famous. It led to the first Republic in England. Simon de Monfort led the barons in a revolt against the king. Sadly he was killed at Tewksbury.
I got the day wrong, ( they did it on the day, 14 May, not at the weekend ) so we just had an afternoon tea in the town and drove to Herstonceux for a scenic route back to Rye. It was thick fog! The green domes barely visible through the mist. So I hope you get better luck this time.
Famous women, and women that changed the world are not exactly the same. Jackie Collins, and lilly the Pink!!!
Simone de Beauvior, Maya Angelou, or Eleanor of Aquitaine, yes. Collins and Pink, makes me wonder? The problem with great women is that men concentrate what went on in the bed, not what went on in the brain. An intelligent woman, that likes sex, is a harlot, yet a celibate with low IQ is a saint. Always judge a person by the greatness of mind never the dysfunctional body, be it male, female, transgender or gay.
Hope the meeting with Shirley goes well. At one time she was full of life and so easy with people. She was also fun to be with. She always seem to be laughing and joking until you were born. When we met she was just coming out of her shell, and I was just going back into mine. She was always out going, and comfortable around people. She loved nursing, but they upped the qualifications. The health service loss hundreds of dedicated nurses in the pursuit of clinical University students. They must have wasted a fortune training cold, dispassionate, harpies, instead of using the people persons, that love to tend the sick. If the health service didn't want her, the hospitality industry did.
Her ideal vocation was to run a village pub. A village pub was my idea of a nightmare. I like to turn my back on the world and close the door in the evening not open my home up to strangers. When we were asked what would you do if you won the bonds, Shirley said run a hotel. I wanted to run a farm.
When she had the opportunity to run a pub, I would not give up the Coastguard for a pub. The dye was cast, and she went with Terry( a drunk ) that shared her love of the publicans life. When I met Mitch, the owner of the pub, and asked why he threw Shirley and Terry out, he said Terry was worth £20 a night the others side of the bar, this side, he would cost the pub £40 a night, the £20 he would have spent plus the £20 he would have drunk from the profit. Mitch told them he was going to visit them in the afternoon, and told them what time. When he arrived at mid day, both Shirley and Terry were drinking shorts, while serving customers. Any one expecting the boss to arrive, would normally have a soft drink at hand or coffee, not an alcoholic drink. Clearly Alcohol was more important than a job. The reason Shirley was offered the job was, that I did not drink much, and thought the pub was a business, not a way of life.
We clearly were not suited but I always thought I gave up on Shirley too early, and regretted it. With Pauline I endured far too long and suffered for it.
Love
Dad
Yes it was good seeing mum. We’re all a bit overwhelming in a small house these days. But the kids fell in love with her dog (a shitzu). So that was great. Also saw Chris briefly. Also good.
We know the two dogs get on now so I won’t be as dependant on finding a sitter for Floss before visiting next time. (She’s due in season any time, and I left it too late to book the sitter this time just in case she came into season, but she didn’t, so we drove down while we could.
We’re still waiting for Floss to come into season… I think she’ll keep us waiting. Meanwhile we have all the moods to deal with. She gets very fussy before a season. So I work with her wrapped around my shoulders every now and again… not that I mind. I love her to bits.
Hope the new kids aren’t suffering with the chance of temperature. I expect the heat lamps are in use…
Warmest regards
Jo
Jo
I do not know where Shirley ended up once she left the Links. I believe she moved into an elderly housing complex, because of Terry's health. When Chris stayed with us she phone frequently, but since then joined Pauline's network. It then became too risky to let her have my new address and telephone number. It is good you have contact with her, not so good the rest of your new family also have access to everything she does on line.
I am pleased you saw Chris he is of your blood, and should be considered as your brother. Once he left home he missed your growing up, and probably has nothing in common with you. The genes in common mean you may do things for similar reasons, and suffer the same genetic illnesses.
Looking after dogs can be infuriating. I do not know any dog that likes to be away from home or enjoy their time in a kennel. We dog sit for relatives on a regular basis. Our dogs are old, only Dougie can be a bit unpredictable.
We have had our share of snow showers, and looking forward to the warm spell. The kids are big enough not to need the lamp, the ducklings are not.
The Farmers market on Saturday was numbing (too old for this stuff). Sunday was the smallholders egg show. Now the ME is catching up,and seeking revenge. How dare I act like a normal human!
Love
Dad
An egg show? Just the eggs? Sounds dull…. Are they judged on size , shape, colour, weight, strength of shell, colour of yolk? What constitutes a good egg or a bad egg? The mind boggles… and I suppose Judging is no yolking matter…
Both kids are off on scout/guide camps this weekend, so Magnus and I are off on a coach trip with the local civic society to see the Sherlock holmes exhibition at the royal armouries in leeds. It should make for an interesting day out with interesting people!
Warmest regards
Jo
Jo
Mock not, the smallholders egg show, the height of the spring calendar. Some members have special egg carrying cases, polishers and settings. The rest of us just go along for the craic. I won first prize for the goose egg, First out of a class of one, impressive. I got a second for a duck egg out of 2. The hard classes are three eggs. I actually won the 3 tinted bantam, and second in the coloured large fowl. Both these classes were heavily subscribed with 4 entrants. Be awestruck!
Surprisingly finding 3 eggs that are roughly the same shape with no blemishes and smooth is harder than you think! Just look at your eggs from the supermarket and find just two the same. They also have classes for the insides. Obviously good colour of the yoke, clear albumen, and no fertilisation. We don't enter those classes as we have roosters.
The eggs are just an excuse for a get together. The smallholders meet once a month for an event or talk. There is a craft evening every Friday night, culminating in a pool tea. We do not attend the Friday meetings so we are indebted to attend once a month. Such is our hectic social calendar.
Must get back into the cheese room as we have another farmers market tomorrow
love
Dad
Ha ha ha. Sounds like a great setting for a midsummer murders style plot. Just my cup of tea!! (Though the chickens themselves are more interesting for spectators ).
Don't belittle your first in a class of one. They could have awarded you second if your egg didn't measure up... its been done before I believe in the show world.
Enjoy the farmers market tomorrow. Think of us with the older section of the civic society discussing the various merits of thermos tea on the coach....
Jo
Farmers markets have a habit of collecting strange people with odd ideas. One customer was convinced that cheese should be warmed not cooled. This allowed the bacteria in the cheese to ripen. This ripe cheese will work wonders for the gut! Nutter.
We spend all our time reducing harmful bacteria not growing it. However he was almost right about the benefits of a bacteria full gut. These of course are good bacteria that breakdown the food not poison it. He waxed lyrical about his youth, eating dirt and playing unhindered by health and safety. I too was of that generation and can clearly remember a number of children that died, accidentally. We would be horrified if 1 percent of the school population failed to live long enough to complete their education.
Ah Nostalgia, that wonderful youth! Where every adult had the right, and duty, to punish a child if they thought it misbehaved. Teachers used the cane to enforce discipline. They thrashed, and thrashed, those trouble makers that could not, or would not understand the subjects so badly taught. Police gave a clip around the ear and terrifyingly enforced the prejudice of the community they lived in, and served. “I am watching you lad,” had all the menace of the Stasi secret police.
However my childhood was happy once I left Stowlangtoft Hall. My dysfunctional parents did not know, or care where I disappeared to, from sunrise to sunset. Everywhere I lived was surrounded in fields, woods and bogs. You could graze happily on the hedgerows of wild berry's and hazel nuts. Some roots could be eaten if pulverised with a rock. Living in an army barracks you had the advantage of playing in training fields, and obstacle courses. The fast flowing river Severn was a constant playground, and Logging the ultimate thrill.
Near the rifle range the river took a series of sharp bends. This caused eddies and also whirl pools. I found if I clung to a log I could spin furiously through the rapids and overfalls. An experience more exhilarating that any theme park. Unfortunately some children died enjoying themselves. The Army took steps to fence it off, which meant we had to start further up stream. Eventually they placed obstacles across the river bank so you could not drag your log back along the safe side. Denied of that pleasure we had to ride over the weir. Although more dangerous it was outside the jurisdiction of the army.
As you can see life was exciting but in many cases very short. The child abusers we hear about now, had a free hand in those days. Most boys encountered some fondling by elder men, and no one bothered about it. The police were more concerned with your scrumping apples than child molesting. You were a badly behaved boy, and they were your betters, had influence, and could beat you, if they wished.
The excuse for all the bad behaviour, was always the war, either one of them. Whole families were brutalised either in action or bombed at home. What monster will emerge from Syria, Iraq, and Libya, it does not bear thinking about.
Enjoy your child free period, sadly it is never the same as the days when you were courting. Ah Nostalgia!
love
Dad
Jo
the book
I have given up on it. The style of writing is difficult to read. The digression annoying the alter ego distasteful. The views on other women, child rearing were so much like my mother that I thought you were being clever using her as the alter ego.
Kathy carried on reading. She said there probably is a good 2000 word short story in there, but it is a difficult book, and the digressions were distracting. Now she is reading for the digression to see what your character is. Your alter ego is you, in tooth and claw. It is an opportunity to vent you prejudice and bigotry. Well done!
We are at the funeral of your Grandfather. It was a difficult decision, My mother thought best if you did not attend. I was not sure, and thought it might be beneficial for you and Hilary to attend. Pauline thought you should not. Two against one, you did not attend. To be honest it was not a grand affair, and quite an awkward event best forgotten. The wake gave Charlie the chance to talk about my father. It was an insight I never had. My father never talked.
The bit about your feelings about your step father was interesting. I was shocked that you wished your father dead! Oh hum.
I have bought the Iliad and the Odyssey for Tristan. It was the first book I read. I used the library for the first time . It took me ages to read, as the words jumped all over the page, and I realised that some thing was wrong with my reading skills, I was not thick. I understood the purpose of the book and got the gifts offered, immortality, heroic death, Olympic champion, Great lover, etc. All to be forsaken for mortality and the ageing Penelope. Never underestimate the power of a Nobody.
I will let you know when I have posted it
warmest of warmest regards
love
dad
Life is too short to read bad books. There is a wealth of great literature out there. I'm not offended. There is no point wasting your time reading something for the sake of it.
Do you have an overlay or had yourself tested for Irlens? It is genetic. Iona needs coloured lenses and finds the words jump far less. It might be worth getting yourself tested. It would make reading more pleasurabe for you and less of a strain on the eyes, which can only be a good thing with ME, as reading will leave you less fatigued. Might be worth a go?
My target readership are happy with the book and want a second, so in that respect it's pitched about right (even I wouldn't want to read my book so you aren't alone there!!). Iain rankin actually reads jilly cooper books, despite writing hard crime fiction. Every one writes differently to what they enjoy reading it seams!!
Not long until your birthday now. I hope you and Kathy have made some good plans to mark your 70th.
Much love
Jo
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