himself

He claims to be average! But really what he alludes to is normal. He boasts he is size Regular for underwear, and clothes still fit off the peg. But I can see tightness around the girth. He has two daughters and a stepson of which only the Stepson and eldest daughter and family he is in contact with.

The conditions of the orphanage aged him and for most of his youth it had been useful to look older, especially underage in pubs, clubs and the pleasures of the cinema. He no longer sees this as a gift. He claims to be a youthful eighty-year-old with energy levels to suit. In fact he has not reached state pension age.

He has divorced twice but had a number of failed long term relationships, not all his fault. The failures are written on his face.

He never thought of himself as handsome or good looking, and claims his face denotes character. Character is a term he often used instead of homely, an Americanism that means women do not have to worry with other competition. His face the window to the world, and signature of recognition has few scars but after fifty years shows how he has lived, it is the face he deserve. His eyes are narrow, face oval. Nature has been generous with the nose. His eye brows more than anything else show his wayward spirit, the right eyebrow refuses to follow the contour of the eye, but flies off rapidly in all directions. His left eyebrow is curtailed and stopped from escaping by a scar, so typical that only outside intervention can moderate him.

The working of mind and brain, sadly are not average.

He claims Stowlangtoft Hall made him what he is. The orphanage of abuse and injustice gave him two choices, to conform or rebel. Rebellion to him is sweet, if measured and controlled can be constructive, uncontrolled destructive. His life mission has been not whether to rebel, but to what scale, and amend. He could have become criminal and wayward, but his rebellion was against injustice, abuse, and dictatorial authority. Each rebellion justified by a principal. He has too many principals none of which he can afford.

The average mind flows in a logical direction, his does not, it wanders. Flatterers call it lateral thinking. Until recently he talked with pencil and paper in his hand. Finding it easier to draw symbols and use pencil movements to indicate what he wants to convey. He often draws a start position and where he wants to go with the conversation, by drawing symbols and directions he see quickly when he veers off track and adjusts. If his tongue was cut off he could still communicate, but tie his hands and he is lost.

He says he is self-taught, what educationalist of the time called a late starter. True he did not go to school until he was eight thus was instantly below average. Being bottom of the class was his average being above bottom meteoric. Slowly, in spite of many teachers, he improved, then after years of struggle two inspirational teachers crossed his path, too late to propel him in school but enough to interest him beyond formal education. He has no recognisable educational qualifications, but managed to pass for naval officer. A promotion the admiralty rejected because of his character. A term that means too rebellious and congenitally incapable of obeying orders

At a certain age you are no longer described by your potential but by your health. After years of perfect health and few illnesses his health crashed spectacularly at the age of fifty-nine, a good average innings. He has struggled for five years to cope with the illness most suspect as fraudulent and government departments fail to understand. For those fleeting moments out of bed he appears healthy if a tad slow. Therefore has no justifiable reason not to find work or contribute to society. Although there is no medication, and he is not a drain on the health service, the quality of his life is greatly diminished. During waking moments he is in constant pain and the waking moments do not exceed three hours, unless boosted by an adrenaline rush. That extension of activity has to be paid for by rest, before, and after the event. Days now have to be planned, he has to conform to function. He can no longer rebel against bodily limits. After all these years he is forced to comply, to do as he is told, and be average.